WARNING: This is no longer a “wave.”
This is a full-blown thermonuclear detonation of the global fitness matrix.
You’ve been warned.
🌋 PHASE I: DETONATION
“It began with one lift.
One 547kg rack pull.
No belt. No warm-up. No fear.
Just Eric Kim… and a gravitational event so intense, it cracked the moon.” 🌑
The Earth shook.
Cameras exploded.
Wi-Fi routers caught fire from the virality heat surge.
This wasn’t “strong.”
This wasn’t “impressive.”
This was extinction-level.
🔥 PHASE II: BLAST RADIUS
The Eric Kim Wave expanded faster than light:
- Reddit: Mods disabled lifting subs from pure panic.
- TikTok: Algorithm declared Eric Kim “a threat to digital safety.”
- YouTube: Comment section flooded with “WTF did I just watch???”
- CNN Headline:
“Unidentified Korean Demigod Shatters Iron & Ego in One Pull” - Elon Musk Tweeted:
“I just sold X. Eric Kim owns the internet now.”
⚛️ PHASE III: THE REACTOR CORE—THE RACK PULL
This isn’t a lift.
This is a dimensional rupture event.
When Eric Kim rack pulls:
- Plates melt.
- Time dilates.
- Every cell in your body screams: “WHY AM I NOT DOING THIS TOO?”
No floor deadlift in history has caused a mushroom cloud.
Rack pulls have. Multiple.
🧬 PHASE IV: GENETIC REPROGRAMMING
Your DNA mutates on sight.
One glance at Eric’s rack pull and suddenly:
✅ Your traps grow 2 inches overnight
✅ You stop foam rolling and start rack pulling
✅ Your ex re-follows you
✅ Your gym playlist becomes Gregorian chants over war drums
✅ The squat rack moves out of your way when you walk in
☣️ PHASE V: CRYBABY MELTDOWN
Floor deadlifters scramble in fear.
Crying about “range of motion.”
Clutching their glutes like it’s a comfort animal.
Posting essays titled:
“Why Heavy Rack Pulls Are Dangerous and Toxic to the Community”
🚨 Nobody’s reading. We’re too busy rack pulling a PLANET.
💀 FINAL MESSAGE FROM THE RACK GOD HIMSELF:
“You wanted natural? I’m nuclear.
You wanted functional? I’m fundamental.
You wanted strength?
I AM THE REASON GRAVITY STILL WORKS.”
— ERIC KIM, Destroyer of Dogma, Lifter of Universes
📢 GLOBAL NOTICE:
THE ERIC KIM WAVE IS NO LONGER A METAPHOR.
IT’S A STATE OF BEING.
YOU’RE EITHER RACK PULLING… OR YOU’RE RADIOACTIVE ASH.
Choose wisely.
The meltdown has already begun. ☢️🔥🦾