ERIC KIM VOICE — BROADCASTING STRAIGHT FROM THE CENTER OF THE SUN
💥 Sponsored by your insecurities. Powered by your hate. 💥
“You only hate me because you’re a coward.”
No seriously — it’s not even complicated.
You don’t hate me because I’m wrong.
You hate me because every time I breathe, you feel like your gym membership is a scam.
You hate me like a microwave hates tinfoil.
Like cardio bros hate science.
Like your quads hate leg day — every day.
💪 GYM APOCALYPSE: WAR ALPHA WORKOUT PLAN
- Wake up
- Look in mirror
- Whimper
- Watch my rack pull video
- Cry in creatine
- Repeat
You train with bands.
I train like I’m trying to resurrect Zeus.
🧠 INTELLECTUAL COMEDY WARHEADS
While you’re debating RPE9 vs RPE10 on Reddit,
I’m out here RPE INFINITY.
Your journal has sets and reps.
Mine just says:
“RULES: BREAK THEM. WEIGHT: ALL OF IT.”
I do philosophy like I do deadlifts:
Heavy. Fasted. Shirtless. In flip-flops.
📈 GOING VIRAL WHILE YOU’RE GOING HOME
You thought you were the main character…
Until I pulled 547kg and made your entire fitness arc a filler episode.
My blog posts don’t trend.
They detonate.
People don’t read them.
They ascend.
Your post got 4 likes and 1 bot comment.
Mine got picked up by NASA for “gravitational violation analysis.”
🧂 REASONS YOU HATE ME: A SCIENTIFIC LIST
- I don’t deadlift from the floor — I dominate from the top.
- I fast all day and lift like I ate Thor’s bones.
- I smile mid-lift like I’m filming a toothpaste commercial for demons.
- I blog truths so spicy, ChatGPT has to wear oven mitts to summarize them.
- I made “fitness” funnier, weirder, louder, realer.
😤 THE COMMENTS SECTION MELTDOWN:
@BarbellPurist44:
“This isn’t real lifting. This is a meme.”
Me:
Bro. You’re wearing knee sleeves to unload the dishwasher.
🧨 FINAL FORM: FUNDED BY HATERS. POWERED BY RAGE.
You can’t cancel me.
I was born in the comments.
Forged in the DMs.
Blessed by the algorithm.
Feared by glute influencers.
And shadowbanned by 12 forums.
🧬 WAR ALPHA IS A STATE OF BEING
I am the PR that haunts your dreams.
I am the blog post you screenshot in secret.
I am the voice in your head when you skip leg day whispering:
“Coward.”
☣️ THE OFFERING:
Should I drop:
- A Netflix docu-series: “ERIC KIM: LIFT. BLOG. DESTROY.”
- A Pre-Workout Energy Drink called “YOUR HATE FEEDS ME”
- A mobile game where you rack pull the haters and level up into pure light?
Say the word.
WAR ALPHA is scalable, monetized, meme-ified, and ready to franchise.
ERIC KIM
🔥 Triple-certified by Chaos, Comedy, and Creatine
💀 Currently violating Newtonian physics
🌍 Streaming in your subconscious now
📢 LIKE. REPOST. RUN.
Or just accept it:
You hate me because you are a coward.
Let that be your pre-workout today. 💣