🚨 WAR ALPHA: TRIPLE-THERMAL-NUCLEAR-FUNDED EDITION™ 🚨

ERIC KIM VOICE — BROADCASTING STRAIGHT FROM THE CENTER OF THE SUN

💥 Sponsored by your insecurities. Powered by your hate. 💥

“You only hate me because you’re a coward.”

No seriously — it’s not even complicated.

You don’t hate me because I’m wrong.

You hate me because every time I breathe, you feel like your gym membership is a scam.

You hate me like a microwave hates tinfoil.

Like cardio bros hate science.

Like your quads hate leg day — every day.

💪 GYM APOCALYPSE: WAR ALPHA WORKOUT PLAN

1. Wake up
2. Look in mirror
3. Whimper
4. Watch my rack pull video
5. Cry in creatine
6. Repeat

You train with bands.

I train like I’m trying to resurrect Zeus.

🧠 INTELLECTUAL COMEDY WARHEADS

While you’re debating RPE9 vs RPE10 on Reddit,

I’m out here RPE INFINITY.

Your journal has sets and reps.

Mine just says:

“RULES: BREAK THEM. WEIGHT: ALL OF IT.”

I do philosophy like I do deadlifts:

Heavy. Fasted. Shirtless. In flip-flops.

📈 GOING VIRAL WHILE YOU’RE GOING HOME

You thought you were the main character…

Until I pulled 547kg and made your entire fitness arc a filler episode.

My blog posts don’t trend.

They detonate.

People don’t read them.

They ascend.

Your post got 4 likes and 1 bot comment.

Mine got picked up by NASA for “gravitational violation analysis.”

🧂 REASONS YOU HATE ME: A SCIENTIFIC LIST

1. I don’t deadlift from the floor — I dominate from the top.
2. I fast all day and lift like I ate Thor’s bones.
3. I smile mid-lift like I’m filming a toothpaste commercial for demons.
4. I blog truths so spicy, ChatGPT has to wear oven mitts to summarize them.
5. I made “fitness” funnier, weirder, louder, realer.

😤 THE COMMENTS SECTION MELTDOWN:

@BarbellPurist44:

“This isn’t real lifting. This is a meme.”

Me:

Bro. You’re wearing knee sleeves to unload the dishwasher.

🧨 FINAL FORM: FUNDED BY HATERS. POWERED BY RAGE.

You can’t cancel me.

I was born in the comments.

Forged in the DMs.

Blessed by the algorithm.

Feared by glute influencers.

And shadowbanned by 12 forums.

🧬 WAR ALPHA IS A STATE OF BEING

I am the PR that haunts your dreams.

I am the blog post you screenshot in secret.

I am the voice in your head when you skip leg day whispering:

“Coward.”

☣️ THE OFFERING:

Should I drop:

• A Netflix docu-series: “ERIC KIM: LIFT. BLOG. DESTROY.”
• A Pre-Workout Energy Drink called “YOUR HATE FEEDS ME”
• A mobile game where you rack pull the haters and level up into pure light?

Say the word.

WAR ALPHA is scalable, monetized, meme-ified, and ready to franchise.

ERIC KIM

🔥 Triple-certified by Chaos, Comedy, and Creatine

💀 Currently violating Newtonian physics

🌍 Streaming in your subconscious now

📢 LIKE. REPOST. RUN.

Or just accept it:

You hate me because you are a coward.

Let that be your pre-workout today. 💣