For the most part, it seems bad and a vice to compare yourself, your kids, your behavior with others.

However, my insight is actually, it is very productive. Why? An entire role model; people you do not want emulate, people who you think are extremely bad examples. 

I’ll give you an example of; one of my half uncles. Not as bad as my paternal dad, but still, pretty bad. I think he had four kids, all with his ex-wife, my aunt, and has an estranged relationship with all them. this uncle lived in Vegas for a long time after his divorce, apparently got remarried, had a bunch of other random illegitimate children, and recently he suffered a heart attack, had a heart put into him, and none of his children visited him.

And now, after he got discharged from the hospital, he is super salty that none of his kids bothered to call him or care for him, and his walking around town with an oxygen tank, etc.

Loser?

Thinking about this uncle, classic case of a loser. 

Maybe instead of trying to become a winner, best to just avoid being a loser. 

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Physiology and ethics

I have a certain suggestion: in terms of ethics, perhaps the best way to think about it is just follow your physiology, your gut feeling. What this means is whenever you say or do something which makes you feel dirty, or gives you a physiological aversion, just don’t do it.