Asian American Man Manliness & Masculinity

Let me just jot some thoughts that I have, being born in 1988, being raised Asian American, Korean American in the states:

1. Self racism?

Growing up, as a kid, middle school and high school, it seems that there is a strange bias that Asian guys have small dicks. But ultimately, whether you have a ten incher, a 12 incher, a 5 incher, a 7 incher, a 5 incher, a 6 incher, a 2 incher whatever — ultimately what matters is the size of your balls, your testicles, your manliness, power, and testosterone.

One of the big problems that Asian guys have is that they lack self-confidence. Honestly I don’t think I’ve ever met a self-confident Asian American guy. In fact, the bias in trend nowadays is that a lot of these Asian American guys are taking steroids, trying to look super super huge, because maybe once upon a time there were bullied, or lacked self-esteem.

2. Who is the strongest and the most courageous at the gym?

There is also another bias that in terms of physical strength and manliness, and masculinity, in America, the Apex is being African-American. Why is that? I think in sports, American football etc., African American men are majority represented. Therefore the media shows us, if you want to be the Apex of physicality, genetically, only African-Americans get there.

Yet I have a theory; I think the reason why African-Americans, Caucasians are more represented in sports, is because they have had two things. First, more encouragement to participate in sports, and second, longer exposure to steroids.

But now at the gym, it seems that I am the most powerful. And I am Asian American, Korean American. Nobody comes close. Funny enough at my gym, most of the African-American guys there tend to be on the skinny side, and there is lot of strong Latino guys, perhaps Mexican American, but I suspect that a lot of them are steroid users, as a lot of them have tons of acne.

I’m currently fortunate that my current local gym is about 90 to 95% Asian American guys. Therefore I am part of the majority.

The hilarity is when I get to another gym, let’s say the golds gym in Venice, everyone is so shocked. Why? At a lot of the other gyms, Asian guys, Asian American guys seem to be less than 5%. Therefore, when I load up eight plates, nine plates, 10 plates, at any other random gym, peoples jaws drop. Even when I do 985 pounds on the atlas lift, 10 plates, a 10, and a 5’er, everyone stops.

Why? Two things:

First, even Asian people, I think we are very very shocked to see insanely strong Asian guys.

Second, I don’t look like I’m on steroids. I am around 5‘11“ tall and not a super hulky looking person. I also have a 6 pack.

3. How to act?

Another thing; I grew up in the bay area, in Alameda, and was exposed to the hyphy movement, E-40 Keak da Sneak etc. Ever since middle school high school, I knew you how to go “stupid dumb and hyphy, yellow bus retarded.”

And also, I grew up on hip-hop and rap culture, first underground rap via my friend Justin, and then later being more inspired by more mainstream people like Kanye Jay-Z etc.

The bias for Asian men is that we are not permitted to be loud, rambunctious, and unorderly. But for myself, I am loud, lack social boundaries, I am insanely manly, over masculine, and treat everybody like my best friend. People are shocked by this, I don’t even use headphones, AirPods, or engage in antisocial behavior. I am the most outgoing, social and extroverted person I know.

People get uncomfortable when you don’t act a certain stereotype. For example I remember one walking down Midtown in New York City, and I had some African-American kids trying to hustle me their rap CDs, and I said no thank you, and then they joked and said “Don’t be afraid of me because I’m black!” And I stopped and paused, and then I started freestyle rapping, and they started laughing and was shocked.

In America, everyone wants to put you inside a bubble. For example, the sword cuts all different ways; there are certain social logical and racial boundary settings for all parties. For example, there are lots of upside and downside racism on all races in America, doesn’t matter if you’re Caucasian, African-American, Asian, Latino, etc.


In America, everybody lacke self-esteem, there’s this really really strange movement now that everyone is anti-“white“ people. But this makes no sense, because I think when we talk about “white” people mean to say is lighter skin complexion.

And the subtle nuance; everyone has a certain origin story. A lot of people are Jewish, Armenian, Irish, German, French, Spanish, Eastern European, Russian, Italian, Polish etc. Or from Ukraine etc.

Ultimately if you live in America, I think the best way to approach it is just consider that ultimately we are all American. So then the ultimate takeaway point is this:

Given that we are all American, then the better question is this… how can we personally gain ascendancy?