How to become more extroverted:
I am one of the most extroverted￼ people I know. Why is that?￼
Maybe it is because I need stronger stimuli to get me going. For example, I must drink much more coffee than the average person, in order for me to feel a response. I also like stronger music, stronger sensations, and more thrilling things.
Even as a kid, I was into extreme sports, and things that got my adrenaline going.
Is it desirable to become more extroverted?
In modern society, yes. It does seem that introverts control and rule the academic and scholarly universe, yet in America at least, extroverts are the ones who rule. Extroverts become Youtubers, vloggers, and actors, and generally famous people. And in America, we care more about fame and prestige and sociability, than intelligence and smartness.￼￼￼￼
Practical tips and thoughts
First of all, better to take the risk of offending somebody, than being silent. When in doubt, wave at them, say hello, and start some small chat.
There are lots of people who are averse to doing small talk. But my thought is that we must first start with small talk, in order to transition into the big talk.
And let us realize that typically with most people, the fear of social rejection is the biggest fear that holds them back.￼￼￼
So I do recommend you to push the social boundaries a little bit, and allow yourself to get rejected or ignored every once in a while. This helps you build your social confidence, and your social skin.￼
Socializing is a game
If we think about the Paris salons of the past, what is it that socialites and intellectuals wanted? Social fencing partners, and the highest thing desired was the skill of talking well.
Even in ancient Greek times, to be a great orator, one needed weight, control of cadence of breath, and iron lungs. Even nowadays, we look at those with beautiful voices, and eloquent speaking manners as highly trustworthy.￼￼￼
You must use it or lose it. The biggest downside of the global pandemic is that we no longer have social skills. A lot of our social skills is like a muscle, and it has atrophied much in lieu of the pandemic.
Where to go to practice your social skills? Go to the local coffee shop, the local barbershop, the local mall, or even order a coffee at the local Starbucks in a clever way. Go off script. Break the simulation.