How to Build Your Self-Confidence

What is confidence?

Definition of confidence

Confidence: trust in yourself.

Where does self-confidence come from?

Where does trust in yourself come from?

I think every child is born with self-confidence (self-faith in themselves). For the most part, kids do whatever they want, say whatever they want, and think whatever they think. And until we put our kids into school, for the most part, we are quite tolerant of our kids and what they say, do, and think. We let our kids be themselves!

Thus, every kid is self-confident.

How do we lose our self-confidence from childhood to adulthood?

The question is:

How do kids LOSE their self-confidence as they get older?

My theory: kids lose their self-confidence through:

  1. Kids lose self-confidence (self-faith in themselves) via punishments in the education system. If the kids are bored in class, they are forced and punished by their teachers to pay attention to boring stuff, do boring stuff, and whenever the kids try to rebel– they are punished. Thus our education system is first to blame.
  2. Kids lose self-confidence (self-faith in themselves) through some religions. For example, notions of ‘sin’ and ‘eternal damnation’ scare the shit out of kids, and trains them to become more meek. The kids start to learn to obey authority, instead of obeying themselves.
  3. While we go through our education system, we become more and more domesticated, because we want to get into a good college, in order to get a good job, in order to make a bunch of money and to gain “security” and comfort, in order to be “happy” and to be a “good” person.

Thus it seems the main culprits of how we lose our self-confidence:

  1. Modern educational systems
  2. Modern morality/ethics
  3. Modern notions of “happiness” (comfort, fashion, consumerism)

Thus it seems that society is the “enemy” — society doesn’t want you to be an individual. Society wants you to be generic, obedient, non-threatening, and lame.


How to build up your own self-confidence (again)

Practical thoughts on how to build up your own self-confidence:

  1. First of all, realize that YOUR PERSONAL TRUTH is individual to YOU! This means, you will gain self-confidence (self-faith in yourself) for YOUR own personal needs, desires, and demands. This means, be more self-focused on your own personal needs.
  2. Build your physical strength: If you have the self-faith that you can lift a heavyass deadlift (beyond your own perceived limits) — you build MORE self-confidence in yourself, that you can DO MORE and BECOME MORE! I think building up your physical strength is essential, and insanely under-rated for building your self-confidence.
  3. Consume media which is self-confident: Read philosophy or texts in which the authors or characters are self-confident (Nietzsche, The Illiad), empowering music by artists who are self-confident (JAY Z, Kanye West). With all media (books, poetry, videos, films, audio, etc) classify them as either ADDING to your confidence, or REMOVING your confidence. Only consume media which AUGMENTS your confidence, and EXCISE (surgically remove) what WEAKENS your confidence.

BECOME STRONGER!

ERIC

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By ERIC KIM

Artist-Philosopher