Shame is Good, Guilt is Bad

Dear friend,

Guilt is bad, shame is good. Let me explain:

What’s the difference?

My idea:

Guilt is manufactured by society, religion, and is “unjust” because others superimpose their Morals and ethics upon you.

On the other hand,

Shame is a natural human emotion, which allows us to follow our own moral code of ethics.

1. We are trained to feel guilt, because others want to control us

Guilt is moral blackmail. Ever since we were kids, we have been guilted by our parents, by our religions, and society to obey.

Consider, if you want someone to obey you, but you cannot always micromanage-control them, how can you have them obey your rules, especially when they’re by themselves?

Simple: Train them to feel guilt. Very much how the Christian faith teaches us guilt of “original sin”, to keep us in check.

2. Shame

Now I believe shame is something else. Shame is good. Shame is our naturalistic moral-ethical faculty which guides our actions and behaviors.

What is shame? Shame is betraying your own personal code of ethics, which has been determined by you (not by society).

Isn’t all notions of shame superimposed on us by society and others?

This is what I think:

Ever since we were children, we have been trained to believe in certain morals and ethics. As we grow older, some morals and ethics make sense to us, and other morals and ethics seem like bullshit.

It’s your duty to create your own code of morals and ethics. You do this by dividing the morals and ethics you believe into two categories:

Morals and ethics which sound good to you, and resonate with you.
Morals and ethics which seem unjust and bullshit.

Avoiding shame is good.

Once you’ve created your own code of morals and ethics for yourself, it’s your duty to be exacting of yourself, and to obey yourself. That means:

Avoid shame by not betraying your own code of ethics and morals.

If you feel shame in your actions, you’ve done something wrong. Don’t do it again.

No more guilt

As with guilt, these morals and ethics have been superimposed on you by others and society.

A new principle for us new philosophers:

Let us break free from the shackles of guilt. Let us eliminate the feeling of guilt from our souls.

Examples

If you disobey your parents, you will feel “guilty”. But that’s nonsense, because your parents aren’t always wiser than you. Most of our parents mean well for us, and try to enforce our behavior via guilt. However, as an adult, it is your duty to reject ethical and moral rules that your parents have superimposed upon you (which you don’t agree with)
If you feel personal shame from lying, stealing, or doing something unsavory, don’t do that shameful act again. For ancient Greek heroes, the worst shame that could befall you is showing cowardice in battle, and running away. Better to face your fate and death, than to be a shameful coward.

You dictate your own code of ethics and morals

It’s good to study philosophy, morals, and ethics from others who you consider wise. But ultimately, you must pick and choose what you agree with, and throw away the rest.

How to crate your own morals and ethics for yourself

Study history: Realize that all morals and ethics are subjective. Christian morals aren’t ultimate. Study Thucidydes and the Pelopesian War to see how other nation states in the past treated their soldiers and victims. Also I recommend reading Nietzsche’s book, “Beyond Good and Evil” as well as the “Antichrist” (no this isn’t a Satanic book)
Ask yourself, “What’s the ultimate goal or aim of my life?” What are you willing to personally risk to achieve this? Start with this question first, then figure out what morals and ethics will help you become the fullest version of yourself.

In a nutshell

Avoid shame, eliminate guilt.

GO HARD.
ERIC