If you wanna do more epic shit in life, it’s beneficial to have more self-confidence. But, is it possible to build your own self esteem? Of course it is! Let me share some empowering ideas:

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First of all, I encourage you to reflect on when you were a child. Were you encouraged by your parents, or discouraged by your parents? Did your school teachers encourage you, or discourage you?

For example if you’re a woman, were you discouraged from studying math, science, or computers?

If you are Asian (or any ethnic group) were you encouraged to pursue generic majors in school, like to become a doctor or engineer? Or were you encouraged to pursue your own interests?

For myself, I’m very fortunate that my Korean-American mom was very open minded. She still did encourage me to be studious but she still encouraged my personal creativity and she encouraged me to pursue my own interests. For example as an undergraduate at UCLA after 2 quarters of srudyinf Biology (I hated it), I decided I wanted to study Sociology. My mom was actually supportive, whereas the rest of my family thought I was crazy! (I love you umma). But if I was part of a more conservative family, I’m sure this wouldn’t fly.

So just reflect on your upbringing. If you were discouraged from following your passions or interests while you growing up, just acknowledge it and then tell yourself:

It doesn’t matter how I was raised. I have the power now to change my life!

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Second, don’t worry so much about your own self-preservation. Which means, don’t worry that you’re gonna go broke or starve to death. Adjust your thinking for “imagine the worst case scenario” and you’ll discover it’s actually not so bad! At worst you’re gonna be socially stigmatized and criticized, or maybe go bankrupt. But you’re not gonna starve or freeze to death or get sold into slavery (this is what happened to our ancestors who couldn’t pay off their debts). So be grateful to be alive in modern times!

So the exercise is this:

Write down your deepest darkest fears on a piece of paper, on your notes app on your phone, or whatever. Then ask yourself, “Why am I so afraid of this?” and also ask yourself, “If this worst case scenario truly did happen, would it really be that bad?

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Third, consume empowering media, music, film, videos, philosophy, poetry, etc. Avoid all negative media (social media, Facebook news feeds, news websites, TV, etc). Consider if you spend all day about studying death, terror, and how horrible the world is, you’re going to become more risk averse, and afraid!

Lately I’m distancing myself more and more from social media, and modern media and news. Why? It’s all negative shit. Negative news gets more clicks and eyeballs, which benefits advertising. So Facebook and Google News feeds are optimized by algorithms to feed you more and more sensationalist and fear-enduring news.

Just try it out: spend a year without following, reading, or consuming the news. I’ve ignored the news the last 5 years, and as a result I’m less anxious, less negative, and less depressed. My mood is a lot more stable, positive, and optimistic! I actually feel and believe I can make a positive impact on the world!

I also highly recommend you to listen to empowering music. Seriously, it’s the best way to pump yourself up. Some songs I recommend, “OMG” and “U Mad” by Vic Mensa, “Compton” album by Dr. Dre, “4:44” by JAY Z, and “Yeezus” by Kanye.

For philosophy, read “Antifragile” by Nassim Taleb, “Will to Power” by Nietzche, and everything by Seneca and Marcus Aurelius. Stoicism is probably the most practical school of empowering philosophy.

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Fourth, realize that self confidence means self faith/self trust.

Etymology of “confidence” is:

From Middle French confidence, from Latincōnfīdentia from cōnfīdō from con- (“with”) + fīdō (“trust”/”faith”/loyal)

Faith, loyalty, and trust. What do these words mean to you?

Faith: Not always rational. It doesn’t need to be. I equate faith with a pledge of belief.

Loyalty: To stay true to something, a person, a community, an ideal, or an idea/concept.

Trust: To believe the other human being won’t kill you, betray you, and also has your own interests the same as yours. Trust is the glue which holds society together (money is just a trust-bearing tool).

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Fifth, be your own hype man.

If you’ve ever seen a rapper on stage with 50 other “goons” (other guys, who are “social proof” that the rapper is important); these 50 guys are “hype men”. They make the rapper feel more self confident and hyper.

Hyper means “beyond”. Like hyper speed when you want to get your Millennium Falcon #hansolo on.

Anyways, not all of us have access to others who will hype and pump ourselves up. Therefore, just give yourself permission to be your own hype man!

That means, promote yourself! Know your worth! When you’re charging money for your photographic services, don’t under sell yourself. Charge 25% more than you think you should!

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Lastly, realize you have the power to do epic shit. You’re gonna die. Your afterlife is uncertain.

While you’re still alive, don’t you want to try new things, attempt new things, and attempt new things?

Life is more fun this way!

Take more risks, pursue what you’re curious about, make and build what you desire to see in the world, and follow your own personal truth in the world!

BE STRONG,
ERIC

Conquer your fears and meet new peers at ERIC KIM EXPERIENCE >