Dream and Build Your Self-Esteem!

Dear friend,

A thought I’ve been pondering: what is self-esteem, why is self-esteem important, and how do we get more of it?


My theory: I believe that self-esteem is having faith that how you’re living your own life is worthy in your own eyes.

To “esteem” means to judge favorably. To esteem something also means to admire something.

So, self-esteem must be “self admiration”.


Now in today’s modern society, self admiration is seen negatively. We are warned of the tale of narcissus, the man who stared at his (very beautiful) reflection in the water for so long, he got cursed and turned into a flower (now known as the “narcissus” plant).

Now, I wonder if the real tale should have a different moral to the story. Perhaps the lesson should be:

It is good to admire yourself, but you must channel that self-esteem into something positive, to benefit others!


Esteem also means “estimate”. What does estimate mean?

Well, to estimate something is always imprecise. For example, we estimate how long a journey is going to take us, or we make imprecise estimates how long a project will take us to complete.

But it also goes back to the word “esteem”.

I propose that estimate, or esteem should go back to the concept of how much we value ourselves, and how much we think we are worthy of ourselves and being alive!


Self esteem

“[I check] my Instagram comments to crowd-source my self-esteem.” – Kanye West

One of the biggest reasons I deleted my Instagram was that I started to crowd source my self-esteem. Which means, I let the crowd and masses dictate my personal self-esteem.

But now that I deleted my Instagram, and I’ve been “clean” for around a year, I feel my vision and self-esteem is clear. I feel a lot more self-confident in myself, in taking “foolish” risks, in innovating and trying out new things, and also I have more self-esteem in myself (I have more faith in what I’m doing).

To be truthful, every time you read a negative comment about you on the internet, via someone who is anonymous, you lose a little bit of self-confidence. I think Stoic mind training to make yourself resistant to the blows of others can only work so much; even a massive cliff that is hit by pebbles for millenia will eventually crumble. Better to just avoid the pebbles (small blows of negative comments). This is why I don’t read comments from anonymous people on the internet; their opinion doesn’t matter to me, and usually their negativity just fucks up my mood or vibe. I’d rather surround myself with my squad; Cindy, Annette, Neil, Josh, my close friends online, my moms (both of them), and family. And my past students.

But above all, realize that if you truly want to create an “antifragile” self-esteem of yourself (a self-esteem that grows stronger by attacks from others), it is to channel your anger and frustration in a positive way. This is how much social justice gets done; Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi were mad about injustice in the world, yet they chose peaceful ways to make positive social change. That’s boss.

Be bold and pursue your own inner-truth, and never let anyone hold you down, especially yourself.

ERIC