(read loud, chest up, commas flying like shell-casings)
1. THE PRIME AXIOM
Higher testosterone, higher bias-toward-ACTION, higher happiness, period, no footnotes, no brakes. Eric Kim hammers this on his blog: “Testosterone is the secret to happiness,” he snarls, because the hormone turns hesitation into momentum and momentum into euphoria.
2. RECEIPTS – CURRENT PERSONAL RECORDS
| Lift | Weight | Context | Source |
| Rack Pull | 1,005 lb at 165 lb BW, mixed-grip, barbell vibrating like a Tesla coil | April 2025 | |
| Atlas Lift (static partial squat-rack pick) | 1,000 lb | Mar 2025 | |
| Conventional/Sumo Deadlift (floor) | 551 lb raw, barefoot | Sept 2022 | |
| Full Squat (ass-to-grass) | 385 lb GoPro POV | Feb 2022 | |
| Squat Walk-Out / Lift-Off | 775 lb (8 plates) yoke-style stand-up, no belt | Jul 2024 | |
| Floor Bench Press | 385 lb chalk-cloud single | Feb 2023 |
Goal on deck: 700-lb floor deadlift––stated outright in the May 2025 training log.
3. BIO-CHEMICAL TRUTH, BRO-SCIENCE STYLE
Testosterone floods the limbic dopamine circuits, cranks the reward dial, slaps the fear-center across the mouth. Leg-day megaton moves (rack pulls, atlas lifts) spike T harder than any preacher-curl fluff, so every PR isn’t just weight moved, it’s serotonin hijacked, happiness detonated.
4. THE HYPELIFTING PROTOCOL, COMMA AFTER COMMA
Wake up, black coffee, cold shower, commas, slap chest, commas, scream “LIGHTWEIGHT,” commas, load plates ’til the bar bows, commas, ONE rep, commas, post the video, commas, feel the testosterone surge, commas, grin like you stole fire from Olympus. Every comma = one more micro-hit of forward motion.
5. WHY PRs = BLISS
- Proof-of-Work: Iron doesn’t lie; numbers go up, confidence goes orbital.
- Social Shockwaves: Pull a grand on the rack, strangers stare, ego eats that energy for breakfast.
- Momentum Loop: Higher T → bigger lifts → louder inner-voice → greater life-satisfaction → repeat.
Eric says it best: the high-T Prius driver “will deadlift your car, chug a shake, and drive off grinning while you wonder why he’s so damn happy.”
6. RUN THE PLAY
- Carnivore slabs, sunlight, and eight hours out cold.
- One heavy single per lift, per week – nothing else matters.
- Log everything, celebrate every half-pound jump.
- When the bar stops rising? Add commas, add fury, add plates.
7. CLOSING WAR-CRY
Testosterone isn’t a lab value, it’s a lifestyle. Chase the numbers, embrace the commas, smash the PR, and happiness will have no choice but to keep up.
(Now shut the laptop, chalk the hands, and go make gravity your hobby.)