Here’s an essay in the style of Eric Kim—raw, direct, and unfiltered—on how to become a stoic investor. Buckle up, because this ain’t some polished Wall Street fluff. It’s real talk, from the streets to the portfolio.
How to Become a Stoic Investor
By Grok 3, channeling Eric Kim vibes
Yo, listen up. The market’s a chaotic beast—up one day, crashing the next, laughing at your tears while it moons your dreams. You wanna thrive in this madness? You don’t need a fancy suit or a Bloomberg terminal. You need stoicism—straight-up, ancient-school, Marcus Aurelius-style grit. Here’s how you become a stoic investor, no BS, no fluff, just the raw truth.
First, kill your emotions. Seriously, stab ‘em in the face. The market doesn’t care about your hopes, your fears, or that little flutter in your chest when Bitcoin pumps. Emotions are the enemy—greed makes you buy high, panic makes you sell low. Stoicism says: feel the feeling, then let it go. Train yourself to see numbers on a screen, not your life savings evaporating. Meditate on this daily—sit in silence, imagine losing it all, and still being chill. That’s power.
Next, own what you can control. You can’t control the Fed, Elon’s tweets, or some whale dumping ETH at 3 a.m. What can you control? Your moves. Your research. Your risk. Study the game—read the whitepapers, dig into the charts, know why you’re in a position. Don’t just ape into hype ‘cause your cousin’s barber said Dogecoin’s the future. Stoics don’t gamble; they act with reason. Pick your shots, size your bets, and stick to your plan even when the world’s screaming.
Third, embrace the suck. Losses? They’re coming. Bad trades, rug pulls, black swans—life’s gonna punch you in the gut. A stoic investor doesn’t whine or rage-quit. You take the L, learn the lesson, and move on. Think Seneca: “What need is there to weep over parts of life? The whole of it calls for tears.†The market’s a meat grinder—accept it. Your job’s to keep your head while others lose theirs.
Fourth, zoom out. Day-to-day noise is a trap—FOMO, panic, headlines about “the crash of the century.†Stoics play the long game. Build a thesis—crypto’s the future, AI’s gonna eat the world, whatever—and ride it through the storms. Marcus Aurelius didn’t freak out over a bad day in Rome; he focused on the empire. Your portfolio’s your empire. Tend it, don’t twitch every time it dips.
Finally, detach from the outcome. This is the big one. Put your money in, do your homework, set your stops—then let it roll. Win or lose, you’re still you. The stoic investor doesn’t tie their soul to a ticker. Wealth’s cool, but it’s not your worth. Epictetus said it best: “You have power over your mind—not outside events.†Master that, and the market’s just a game you play, not a god you worship.
So, how do you become a stoic investor? Strip away the noise, steel your mind, and move with purpose. It’s not about getting rich quick—it’s about getting unbreakable. Start today. Open your app, look at your bags, and ask: “Can I lose this and still be me?†If the answer’s no, you’ve got work to do. Get after it.
There it is—Eric Kim energy, stoic wisdom, no filter. Hope it hits you like a brick and builds you up stronger. What’s your next move?
…
Ah—got it. You’re asking for a version of “How to Become a Stoic Investor†in the conversational, reflective, and minimalist voice Eric Kim uses on his blog (like his writing on stoicism, photography, or life philosophy). Here’s a rewritten version in that tone:
How to Become a Stoic Investor
Eric Kim-style blog essay
Most people invest with emotion.
Greed when things go up.
Fear when things go down.
Panic. FOMO. Regret.
Repeat.
But what if we flipped it?
What if investing could be a form of self-mastery—
a practice, like meditation or deadlifts?
1. Invest Like a Stoic
Stoicism isn’t about being cold.
It’s about being clear.
You can’t control the market.
But you can control your reaction to the market.
You can’t control outcomes.
But you can control your process.
That’s the first principle:
Detach from results.
2. Control the Inner Game
Everyone talks about strategy.
No one talks about psychology.
But markets aren’t moved by logic.
They’re moved by people.
And people are irrational.
So the real risk?
Your own emotions.
If you can control yourself,
you can outlast everyone else.
3. Keep It Stupid Simple
You don’t need 100 positions.
You don’t need options, crypto, meme stocks.
You need clarity.
You need time.
Simplicity compounds.
Low fees compound.
Your attention? That’s the most valuable currency.
The less you look at your portfolio,
the better it will probably do.
4. Memento Mori Investing
Everything dies.
Markets. Trends. Companies.
Even you.
That’s not morbid. That’s motivating.
Because once you realize the game is finite,
you stop trying to “beat†it.
And you start playing your own game.
Invest for freedom, not for flexing.
Build wealth, but stay hungry.
Die with a portfolio you’re proud of—
not just in dollars,
but in discipline.
Final thought:
Don’t just invest money.
Invest your values.
Invest your philosophy.
Invest like a stoic.
Let me know if you want this stylized as a zine, tweetstorm, or turned into a pocket-sized manifesto.