A thought; maybe the most virtuous path we could take in life is not to be silent and Stoic… But rather, the jubilant gay loud, angry and wrathful monster?

In today’s ever-evolving world, where identity, authenticity, and self-expression hold unparalleled importance, I can’t help but think about a phrase that resonates deeply with me: “Better to be a gay monster than a sentimental bore.” This idea strikes a nerve not because it’s provocative, but because it’s a powerful call to embrace radical authenticity and unapologetic individuality. It’s a rejection of the mundane, the expected, and the narrow constraints society imposes on us. It’s about choosing a life of boldness and authenticity, over one of inauthentic sentimentality, conformity, or the blandness of conventionality.

To understand why this resonates so strongly with me, let’s break it down. On one hand, you have the “gay monster”—a symbol of difference, often feared or misunderstood by society. But in this context, being a “monster” is not about evil; it’s about power, subversion, and the courage to embrace your true self, even when it makes others uncomfortable. The gay monster is the ultimate iconoclast. They exist outside the rules and binaries that dominate our world. They disrupt comfort zones, challenge norms, and force society to confront its own prejudices and limited thinking.

In contrast, the “sentimental bore” represents the status quo, a figure lost in shallow emotions, rehearsed platitudes, and socially approved behaviors. It’s the person who chooses safety over truth, politeness over passion. They represent the individual who follows scripts dictated by society, plays their role perfectly, but never truly lives. They may be liked by everyone, but they are loved by no one—not even themselves. They exist in a vacuum of mediocrity, trapped by societal expectations, afraid to make a ripple. And for what? To fit in? To be accepted? To avoid criticism or disapproval?

As I see it, the real problem with being a sentimental bore is not simply that it’s dull—it’s that it’s inauthentic. It’s a life lived for others, for approval, for the veneer of respectability. But authenticity, by definition, cannot be boring. It is vibrant, dynamic, and often, messy. It requires us to embrace the parts of ourselves that we might otherwise suppress, the parts that don’t fit into neat categories or societal molds.

Take for instance the figure of the artist, or anyone who truly follows their creative vision. The world doesn’t always understand them. People may even call them “monsters” for defying conventions. Think of the iconic photographer Daido Moriyama—his work was gritty, raw, and unapologetic. His vision of Tokyo wasn’t the glossy, tourist-friendly images of the city. It was the underbelly: chaotic, imperfect, and utterly human. Moriyama’s art is a direct rejection of sentimentality—he chooses truth over beauty, reality over polish. He’s a “monster” in the best sense of the word, unafraid to confront the ugly realities of life because he knows that within that ugliness, there’s a deeper, more honest beauty.

When we opt to be “monsters” in our own lives, we’re making a bold declaration: that our truth, no matter how strange, uncomfortable, or misunderstood, is more valuable than the safe, comfortable lies that society tries to feed us. It’s a rejection of living a half-life. To be this “monster” is to accept that your identity, your desires, and your essence may not be easily digestible for everyone. But why should they be? You weren’t born to fit someone else’s mold, to conform to someone else’s expectations. You were born to live a life that is fully yours—flaws, quirks, and all.

And if that makes you a “monster” in the eyes of some? So be it. I’d rather be the monster that people remember—perhaps fear, but ultimately respect—than the bore who fades into the background, unnoticed and unremarkable. There is a freedom in being a “monster”—you are no longer bound by the arbitrary rules and restrictions that stifle your potential. You get to define yourself on your own terms. In that sense, the so-called “monster” isn’t scary at all—they are liberated.

On the other hand, to be a sentimental bore is to fall victim to the trap of shallow emotions and cliché. Sentimentality is easy. It’s the path of least resistance because it conforms to what is familiar, what is safe. It’s the Hallmark card of human expression—empty, formulaic, and ultimately meaningless. It’s a life devoid of depth, passion, and true engagement. What is more monstrous, really? The person who dares to be different, or the person who chooses to stay shallow, to be what others expect?

In my photography, my writing, and in how I approach life, I am constantly drawn to the idea of the “gay monster”—not necessarily in a literal sense but in the sense of embracing radical difference. I reject sentimentality because it is a veil that covers over the true, gritty, and sometimes painful reality of life. But within that reality lies profound beauty—if only we are brave enough to see it.

In a world obsessed with perfection, with fitting in, and with the shallow comforts of sentiment, I say: choose to be a monster. Choose to be real. Choose to be yourself, fully and unapologetically. Better to be feared, loved, misunderstood, but real, than to be liked, safe, and completely, utterly forgettable.

Embracing the Monster Within: A Reflection on Authenticity

“Better to be a gay monster than a sentimental bore.”

In a world that often prizes conformity over individuality, this provocative statement serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of embracing our true selves. The notion of being a “gay monster” suggests a vibrant, unapologetic existence, rich with passion and uniqueness. In contrast, a “sentimental bore” implies a life led by the safe, the ordinary, the unremarkable. This dichotomy challenges us to consider what it truly means to live authentically.

Growing up, I was frequently confronted with societal expectations that dictated how I should behave, what interests I should pursue, and even how I should express my emotions. The pressure to fit into predefined molds can be stifling, pushing many to suppress parts of themselves that don’t align with mainstream norms. It’s easier to be the “sentimental bore”—predictable, reliable, and unchallenging—than to risk standing out as something or someone different.

Yet, there is profound value in embracing our inner “monster,” in celebrating the aspects of ourselves that deviate from the norm. This doesn’t imply being disruptive for the sake of disruption, but rather embracing the full spectrum of our identities, passions, and creative impulses. When we allow ourselves to be authentically who we are, we unlock a reservoir of creativity and vitality that can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling lives.

Consider the realm of art and photography, areas where I find myself most drawn. The most compelling works often stem from a place of deep personal truth and emotional honesty. A photograph that captures a unique perspective, one that challenges viewers to see the world differently, is far more impactful than one that merely adheres to conventional aesthetics. Similarly, artists who push boundaries and explore unconventional themes are often the ones whose work resonates most deeply and endures over time.

Being a “gay monster” in this context is about rejecting the safe path in favor of one that may be fraught with uncertainty and criticism but is rich with authenticity. It’s about taking risks with your art, your career, your relationships, and, most importantly, your self-expression. It’s about acknowledging that the journey towards authenticity is not always easy, but it is invariably more rewarding than a life of quiet complacency.

Moreover, embracing our uniqueness can inspire others to do the same. When we live authentically, we create space for others to explore and express their own identities without fear of judgment. This collective embrace of individuality fosters a more diverse and dynamic society, where innovation and creativity can flourish.

However, the path to embracing our inner “monster” is not without its challenges. It requires a willingness to confront our insecurities and vulnerabilities, to stand against societal pressures, and to sometimes endure isolation or misunderstanding. But it also offers the promise of a life lived fully and richly, aligned with our deepest values and desires.

In practical terms, cultivating this authenticity involves several key steps. First, it requires self-awareness—understanding who we are, what we value, and what makes us unique. This self-knowledge forms the foundation upon which we can build an authentic life. Second, it involves courage—the courage to express ourselves honestly, even when it means going against the grain. Finally, it demands resilience—the ability to withstand setbacks and criticisms without losing sight of our true selves.

In my own journey as a photographer, I have found that the most rewarding projects are those that reflect my personal interests and passions, even when they diverge from mainstream trends. These projects not only bring me joy but also connect me with others who share similar interests and perspectives. It is through these authentic connections that I find the greatest sense of fulfillment and purpose.

Ultimately, the choice between being a “gay monster” and a “sentimental bore” is a metaphor for the broader choice between living authentically and conforming to societal expectations. While conformity may offer comfort and acceptance, authenticity provides a deeper sense of satisfaction and meaning. By choosing to embrace our true selves, we contribute to a richer, more diverse tapestry of human experience, one that celebrates the extraordinary within each of us.

In conclusion, let us heed the wisdom encapsulated in the quote: “Better to be a gay monster than a sentimental bore.” Let us strive to live authentically, embracing our unique qualities and passions, and in doing so, create lives that are not only more vibrant and fulfilling but also inspire others to do the same. After all, it is through our authentic selves that we leave the most enduring and impactful marks on the world.