How does one become a good role model? Simple: focus on the notion of an “anti role model“.
The general gist is this: strive to be the opposite of bad attributes you see in others.
For example, rather than thinking of how to become a “good” parent, think about how to not be a bad parent. Or in another words, strive to be the opposite of bad parenting.
In my personal example, I probably had the worst father figure growing up. Thus in order to become a good father figure, I just strove to be the exact opposite of what my father was. So in other words, as long as I’m the opposite of my father, I will become a great father.
And the interesting irony is this: sometimes it is the bad role models which help you become a more positive person. In fact, I found more motivation to not become my father then emulating “good” role models.
To take this analogy further, one should not helicopter parent the children. In fact, it is pain suffering and injustice which perhaps gives children a stronger moral compass. Even at a early age, I knew the injustice that my father did towards my mother. And I knew that one day when I had a wife, I would do the exact opposite of what my father was to my mother. So when I think of how my father used to curse at my mom, physically assault my mom, and mentally destroy her, I strive to become the zen-stoic husband and father that I am today.