Why You Should Ignore Your Haters

Hanoi, 2017

Dear friend,

I’m gonna give you real talk: ignore your haters. They’re not worth any of your mental energy.

How to deal with your haters

If you have haters in your life, here are some ideas and food for thought:

  1. Don’t resent your haters. Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
  2. Haters simply hate because they are following their own moral code of ethics. That is fine. Let them follow their own heart and gut. But you don’t gotta listen to them.
  3. Haters often are envious of your success, because they felt like you somehow “cheated” to get ahead. Of course, it is frustrating when you see others get ahead of you, when you feel like they haven’t “paid their dues.”
  4. Many haters are just sad folks, who have mental issues of their own, or who just need a hug. Honestly, most of us have never left negative hate on other random strangers online. Imagine how sad your haters must be, to waste their precious time to bring you down.
  5. Haters: imagine them like barking puppies. Puppies, because they’re cute. Puppies, because their bites are cute, and don’t hurt. Puppies, because they don’t know any better.

And of course, you can’t be angry if others hate on you, if you hate on others.

Does ERIC KIM hate?

NYC, 2016

Of course I’m a hater. But I just keep it to myself. I follow the lesson from my mentors:

If you have nothing positive to say, don’t say it at all.

And if I see something I don’t like, I cannot sit and complain on my keyboard. I gotta make a difference. I gotta be the change which I wish to see in the world (Gandhi).

So let’s first stop hate, by hating less ourselves.

How I try to hate on others less:

Orange County, 2017

To hate on others less, some personal remedies:

  1. Imagine the person I hate like as if they were my sister, brother, uncle, aunt, dad, mom, or friend. You’re more tolerant to those who are your family or friends. As humans we are all one family.
  2. Ask myself, “Why does the thing they do bother me?” Is it because I’m jealous or envious? Or does it violate my personal code of ethics? Can I change them or can I just choose to ignore them?
  3. Do they know any better? How do I know they don’t have a mental illness? To be frank, I learned this from my dad, who has lost touch with reality (I think he might either have “bipolar” disorder or schizophrenia).
  4. Do I have the power to ignore them and go on my day? Should I confront them? Are they worth my time or energy?
  5. Am I guilty of the crime they are committing? If so, I should be more tolerant. This is why I never get road rage; I’ve committed all the traffic violations others do on the Los Angeles 405 freeway.