Dear friend,
I want to write you a letter on how to live a happy life:
1. What is happiness?
First of all, what is a ‘happy’ life?
Seneca define happiness as ‘Peace of mind, and lasting tranquility.’
This is much different from modern definitions of ‘happiness’ — which seem to be more related around excitement and pleasure.
2. Happiness is achieved through subtraction
If we accept Seneca’s definition of happiness as ‘peace of mind’ and ‘lasting tranquility’ — happiness is a negative concept.
For example, happiness is not being mentally disturbed, happiness is not having fear, happiness is not having anxiety.
Happiness is not worrying, not being frustrated, and not being a slave.
Therefore, happiness is achieved from subtraction, rather than addition.
So instead of seeking to do things in life to make us happy — what are things we should avoid to help us find ‘happiness’ in life?
3. Peace of mind
For me, I don’t really have peace of mind. I’m always worried about my finances, my future, Cindy, my future kids, my family, etc.
For a long time, I thought seeking ‘happiness’ was to do exciting things. To travel, to do fun things, to explore, to meet friends, and to party.
But in reality, I think what I was really seeking is to have peace of mind. To have freedom from worry, anxiety, and death.
Once I started to train myself to stop worrying so much in life — I started to thrive creatively. I stopped caring as much what others thought of me. I stopped worrying about my finances. I stopped worrying about being criticized.
This helped me creatively flourish — and helps give me the focus to do ‘honorable industry’ through writing, teaching, sharing information, and being a loving person.
What are things which interrupt your ‘peace of mind’? Seek to subtract those things.
4. Lasting Tranquility
What I think we’re trying to achieve in life is stillness. Imagine a Zen pond. Someone throws a rock in it. Ripples appear. Then if you wait, the ripples go away. There is nothing but still, clear, unpolluted water.
I am trying to achieve lasting tranquility, by making it a daily practice to find peace, contentment, and zen in my life. I do this by subtracting from my desires, my wants, my fears, and my negative emotions.
We cannot achieve peace and freedom of mind for free. There are a lot of things we must sacrifice, like money, fame, power, and influence— in order to find our own personal sanctuary of peace.
Freedom can’t be bought for nothing.
5. How to find tranquility
To sum up, to live a happy life, the first pre-requisite is to eliminate fears, desires, wants, anxieties, and any form of mental disturbance.
Find what works for you. Here are some things I’ve done in my life:
- Wander and shoot street photography: I know for me, walking and shooting street photography is a good way for me to empty my mind. When I’m walking aimlessly, taking photos, and interacting with people on the streets— I no longer worry about money, fame, or anything else. I am fully in the moment. Street photography for me is like walking meditation.
- Do yoga: I have done yoga with Cindy for the last 4 years or so. I always feel resistance before going, but when I finally get in the ‘zone’ — I love the feeling of release of tension in my muscles and mind.
- Deadlift: I see powerlifting (deadlifts, squats, and bench-press) as a form of Zen-meditation; not just getting buff. When I am focusing my mind and my muscles to lift my “1-rep maximum” – my mind goes blank. I feel a split-second where my consciousness is detached from my body. I remember the first time I deadlifted 405 pounds, I had an out-of-body experience, with no thoughts of death.
- Read: Whenever I read philosophy or books, I feel elevated. I no longer worry about my petty body, my petty concerns— I feel my mind becoming strengthened, less anxious, and less worried. I see all these master philosophers from the past as my personal guides and teachers. They are some of the best company, who help soothe my personal anxieties— and encourage me to find ‘lasting tranquility’ in my life.
- Spending time with friends and family: Honestly, there is nothing better for the soul than good laughs, good food, and quality time with friends and family. Whenever I am worried about anything, I share my worries with close friends— and they help re-assure me. When I am with family, I feel utterly joyful, without any pain or worries. I know everything will be ok.
There are tons of other ways you can find more peace and tranquility in your mind. You can go on a walk with your dog, you can meditate, you can read or write, you can take photos, you can play sports, watch engaging films, or anything which soothes your soul.
Let us focus on escaping anxiety and fears in life — then we can truly do our life’s work— the work which we were meant to do.
Always,
Eric
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