How much could we achieve in our life, and how much more of our potential could we reach, if we never lacked self-confidence in ourselves?
What is self-confidence?
To start off, what exactly is “confidence”, and “self-confidence”?
To me, confidence is not having doubt. To me, confidence is being action-oriented, and being able to take on “rational” risk — to know your downside, but to still have courage to do that thing you want to do.
Self-confidence is not having doubt in yourself. To not think that we are dumb, untalented, or unintelligent. To not have thoughts about ourselves which prevents us from achieving our potential.
I think you can be self-confident without being cocky. Of course we all have flaws. But to be self-confident is to know that we have certain weaknesses, but not to focus on them. To focus on our strengths. To build upon our strengths. To know that our fate lies in our own hands; not in the hands of others.
I feel that self-confidence is to not look at others for approval. To only look at ourselves for our own approval.
Doesn’t this empower you— to know that your entire fate, vision of “success”, and achievement rests in your own hands? That nobody controls this, but yourself?
How to have self-confidence in yourself
Okay, so I’m sharing the importance of having confidence in yourself. But much easier said than done.
How do you build self-confidence in yourself? Here are some thoughts:
1. Be action-oriented
We all have great ideas. But instead of being a person of ideas, let us become a person of action.
Whenever you have an idea, try to figure out how to put it into action. To step forward.
Self-confidence means to bring your ideas into fruition— into the real world.
For example, if you’re attracted to a person — to have self-confidence in yourself is to walk over, and say hello, and introduce yourself. Self-confidence doesn’t necessarily mean you will succeed, it just means that you have the confidence to take action.
If you want to pursue a creative project, don’t wait on the approval of others before you begin. Begin now, and take a step forward toward your dreams.
2. Kill your concept of “self”
Strangely enough; I think one of the best ways to have “self-confidence” is to kill your notion of “self.”
The ego and “self” doesn’t exist — it is just a concept that exists inside our mind.
For example, I write a lot of stuff that I am afraid of publishing. I am afraid that people will think: “Who does this Eric guy think he is? He thinks he knows everything and has it all figured out. Who is Eric to tell me what to think, and what to do?”
But these fears dissipate once I don’t think of myself as “Eric.” I just see myself as a human being. And when I drink coffee and I write, this notion of “self” disappears. When I write, I am no longer “Eric” — I am just an organism that is writing, that happens to be powered on caffeine.
This gives me so much more confidence in my work, and I disconnect the labor of my work from myself. Once I’ve photographed something, written something, or created something — it no longer belongs to me. It isn’t me. It isn’t a part of myself. It is its own thing— that exists independently of myself.
Kill your notion of “self”, and you will liberate yourself creatively, and have more confidence in the work that you do.
3. Don’t hesitate
Whenever I want to do something, and I hesitate, I never end up doing it.
This happens all the time in street photography — I see something I want to photograph, but I feel nervous, self-conscious, and I freeze. I don’t take the photo, and end up regretting it.
Anything in your life that requires too much thought, and complexity of action — you won’t do it.
Don’t hesitate. Once you want to do something, just do it. The more you hesitate, the less like you are to do something.
Conclusion
Don’t lack self-confidence in yourself. You were born with a great destiny in mind. You had so many amazing life experiences, and you have a lot of wisdom, creativity, and love to share with others.
Why limit yourself? It is the worst when we limit ourselves, especially when others don’t limit us.
We are often our own worst enemy. Let us become more compassionate, encouraging, and confident in ourselves.
You got this.
Always,
Eric
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