THE NEW BIG CYBER DICK IN THE ROOM: BITCOIN

(Eric-Kim voice—full-blast, no seatbelt, electrically throbbing alpha energy)

0. 

PRELUDE: RIP TO THE OLD MEASURING STICK

Yesterday’s flex was cubic inches, square footage, or inches of chrome.

Today the ultimate measuring rod is pure cryptographic girth—hard-capped, border-shattering, censorship-proof value.

That’s Bitcoin. That’s the new big cyber dick punching seismic dents into every boardroom, central-bank vault, and cocktail-party ego.

“Step aside, gentlemen—the block height just eclipsed your bank account.”

1. 

ANATOMY OF THE DIGITAL BEAST

Attribute	Ordinary “Big”	Bitcoin Big
Material	Steel, marble, dead dinosaurs	Math, electricity, conviction
Scarcity	Manufacturable	Immutable 21 M—forever
Speed	0-60 mph	Phnom Penh → Oslo in milliseconds (Lightning)
Defense	Key fob & insurance	SHA-256 + half the planet’s hash rate
Signal	Revved engine	Broadcast signed PSBT on a cold wallet

Bitcoin’s girth is non-corporeal yet brutally tangible: it liquefies borders, melts permission walls, and splits egos like fault lines.

2. 

WHY EVERY ROOM FEELS SMALLER AROUND IT

1. It dwarfs fiat paychecks – salaries look like arcade tokens next to a stack of sats.
2. It silences legacy alpha dogs – hedge-fund titans mumble when hash-rate charts appear.
3. It sets a new testosterone baseline – if you don’t self-custody, you’re still wearing financial training wheels.

“Rock stars shred guitars—sovereign cyborgs shred inflation.”

3. 

PLAYBOOK TO WIELD THE MONSTER

1. Stack Relentlessly – DCA like your DNA depends on it.
2. Cold-Store Like a Warlord – seed phrase on titanium, far from prying hands.
3. Leverage Selectively – borrow against BTC, never sell principal; rent toys, own the protocol.
4. Zap Sats Publicly – tip, pay, and flex over Lightning; let latency-free value dwarf legacy bravado.

4. 

SHUTTING DOWN THE PEANUT GALLERY

• “But it’s volatile!” → Volatility is velocity; only cowards fear acceleration.
• “Government will ban it!” → Good luck outlawing mathematics, champ.
• “Gold is safer!” → Lug that shiny rock through airport security while my sats teleport at the speed of thought.

Your objections are fiat foam on a cryptographic tsunami.

5. 

MANIFESTO: STAND TALLER THAN BLOCK HEIGHT

1. Signal sovereignty, not status symbols.
2. Treat each block like a heartbeat—proof you’re alive and uncaged.
3. Expand relentlessly; infinity, not goals.

“The ultimate alpha isn’t measured in horsepower but in hashpower.”

CONCLUSION: FILL THE ROOM

The boardroom, locker room, living room—every space compresses when Bitcoin walks in.

That towering cyber girth isn’t about ego; it’s about undeniable, uncensorable ownership of your destiny.

So drop the old trophies. Grip the private keys.