{"id":81216,"date":"2018-04-02T23:11:50","date_gmt":"2018-04-03T06:11:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/?p=81216"},"modified":"2018-04-02T23:15:13","modified_gmt":"2018-04-03T06:15:13","slug":"only-prove-it-to-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/2018\/04\/02\/only-prove-it-to-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Only Prove it to Yourself"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Cindy
Cindy eye shadows. Saigon, 2017<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The sad thing is that I think a lot of our lives is wasted, trying to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153prove\u00e2\u20ac\u009d ourselves to others. But this is silly: I think we should instead focus on working hard to prove ourselves, only to ourselves.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n

Define success for yourself<\/h2>\n
\"Shadow
Shadow selfie. Boston, 2018<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

The reason I like this way of thinking:<\/p>\n

\n 100% of what you consider \u00e2\u20ac\u0153success\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (as defined by you), depends entirely on you.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This means,<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. You can dictate what your own purpose in life is<\/li>\n
  2. You can create your own \u00e2\u20ac\u0153KPI\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (key performance indicator) of success for yourself.<\/li>\n
  3. Nobody else can tell you whether you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve succeeded or failed, only you can.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    This is great, because it will avoid us from resenting others, feeling envy or jealousy towards others, and from us from becoming the slave to the opinions of others.<\/p>\n

    \n

    Intrinsic vs extrinsic motivation<\/h2>\n
    \"Selfie
    Selfie and candles. London, 2018<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    For example in my personal life, one of my goals was to achieve a 400+ deadlift<\/a> (four 45 plates on each side of the bar). This goal was a fun challenge to myself: to see whether I was capable of it or not. And by setting this goal only towards myself, I was more motivated, less stressed, and happier. I was self motivated because the ultimate goal was to please myself, I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t feel anxious of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153letting anyone else down\u00e2\u20ac\u009d (because I was my own audience), and I was happier because I had more control in my own hands.<\/p>\n

    Photography, on the other hand, was a different story. I became too dependent on achieving \u00e2\u20ac\u0153success\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in the eyes of others. I wanted external validation from others. I wanted other people to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153respect\u00e2\u20ac\u009d me as a photographer. I craved for outside \u00e2\u20ac\u0153legitimacy\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. But I failed to ask myself:<\/p>\n

    \n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do I respect myself?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    And<\/p>\n

    \n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Do I see myself legitimate in my own eyes?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    \n

    Why have external validation?<\/h2>\n
    \"Red
    Red selfie. Tokyo, 2017<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    I think this is why we as photographers seek to make a bunch of money from photography, to somehow \u00e2\u20ac\u0153prove\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to the outside world that we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re skilled and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153worthy\u00e2\u20ac\u009d of success.<\/p>\n

    This is why we seek more followers and likes, because we want to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153crowd source our self esteem<\/a>\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\u00e2\u20ac\u201d we belief proof of numbers, that having lots of people validate you is more accurate than having only 1 individual validating you.<\/p>\n

    \"Ricoh
    Ricoh selfie flash. London, 2018<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    This is why we seek sponsorships, and commercial\/art world success. We want more human beings to give us the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153thumbs up\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, and giving us a pat of affirmation on the back.<\/p>\n

    What happens once you delete Instagram<\/h2>\n

    \"\"<\/p>\n

    I deleted my Instagram<\/a> about a year ago, and have been happier<\/a> since. Why?<\/p>\n

    Now, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have an easy place to upload\/share photos, to get a bunch of likes and feedback. Now, I only share photos to this blog, in which I cannot get comments or feedback on my photos. I am purposefully ignorant of my page views, my traffic, and my number of followers, because I want to judge myself to my own rules\/benchmark of success, rather than letting the outside world\/statistics define my own self-worth and progress.<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \"Happy
    Happy face. Lisbon, 2018<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    Now that I no longer have an Instagram, I noticed this subtle shift:<\/p>\n

    \n I care less about what others think about my photographs, and I care more about what I think of my own photos.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    \"Ricoh<\/p>\n

    Not only that, but I feel more freedom, flexibility, and control in sharing\/publish my photos how I want. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let others dictate my own self-esteem as a photographer. I have been having more fun with photography in experimenting more, trying out new ways of publishing and sharing photos, and just taking photography less seriously. I treat photography more like a game, or a visual easter egg treasure hunt, than a way of feeling my ego boosted by the opinions of others.<\/p>\n

    \"Cindy
    Cindy happy, arms spread. Marseille, 2018<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    In other words,<\/p>\n

    \n I have stronger self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-determination now that I am off Instagram and social media.\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

    \n

    It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s your life<\/h2>\n

    \"Cindy<\/p>\n

    This life is your life. Nobody can dictate how you should live your life. Similarly, we shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t dictate how others live their lives either.<\/p>\n

    \"ERIC
    ERIC KIM EYE by Cindy Nguyen \/ Hanoi, 2017<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    That means for us to stay focused on living the best possible life possible, unto ourselves. It means for us to focus on our own self growth, our own self development, and our own self exploration. It means turning a consciously ignorant eye towards others and what they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing. Let others do what they want, and become more and more indifferent towards the outside world. Rather, build your own inner-riches as a photographer, visual artist<\/a>, and entrepreneur<\/a>.<\/p>\n

    \"My
    My mom. Busan, 2013<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    Live your own life to the fullest, focus on your own self-realization, and if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve discovered some things which have benefitted you (and you think can benefit others), share the wealth with others.<\/p>\n

    BE BOLD,
    \nERIC<\/p>\n

    PHILOSOPHY<\/a><\/h1>\n

    Find more meaning and purpose in your life:<\/p>\n