{"id":42751,"date":"2017-03-10T12:30:01","date_gmt":"2017-03-10T20:30:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/?p=42751"},"modified":"2017-03-09T19:45:52","modified_gmt":"2017-03-10T03:45:52","slug":"how-to-conquer-envy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/2017\/03\/10\/how-to-conquer-envy\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Conquer Envy"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Edward
Edward Hopper: Office in a Small City<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Dear friend,<\/p>\n

The problem with today\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s world with social media\u00e2\u20ac\u201d we quantify our self-worth with others.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This is easy for us to turn victim to envy. To jealousy \u00e2\u20ac\u201d wishing that we were someone else.<\/p>\n

1. Life isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a competition<\/h2>\n
\"edward
Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

First of all, there is no competition in life. This concept of games have screwed up us since we were kids. We were socialized from a young age that there are \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcwinners\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 and \u00e2\u20ac\u02dclosers.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/p>\n

In Spartan times, they didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let the kids play games. Because they would have a concept of \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcwinning and losing.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 They wanted to make sure that Spartans could never feel a sense of \u00e2\u20ac\u02dclosing.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Even during the battle of the 300 Spartans\u00e2\u20ac\u201d they weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t remembered as being \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcbeaten\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 \u00e2\u20ac\u201d but remembered as being \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcplayed.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122<\/p>\n

2. I am not immune<\/h2>\n
\"Edward
Edward Hopper Automat<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I know I am prone to envy. No matter how good I have it, I will always envy others. Envy others with more toys than me, envy others with more followers and likes than me, and more money and influence than me.<\/p>\n

I want to share these personal remedies with you; things which have helped me (somewhat) overcome my envy:<\/p>\n

3. Only compete against myself<\/h2>\n
\"Cape
Cape Cod Morning – Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In life, I think competition is good to motivate us. But it is unhealthy to compete against others.<\/p>\n

The only person we should compete against: ourselves.<\/p>\n

For example, I used to be an insecure scrawny Asian kid, and I started to lift weights as a way to boost my self esteem. However over time, I used to compare myself to other guys at the gym. I would feel discouraged for all the guys with bigger biceps than me.<\/p>\n

But now, I try to only compete against myself. When I deadlift at the gym, I ignore everyone else. I am only focused on increasing my \u00e2\u20ac\u02dc1 rep maximum\u00e2\u20ac\u2122. Each week, I try to add 2.5 – 5 pounds to my deadlift. I try to increase my personal maximum. I am only competing against myself from a week ago.<\/p>\n

Even in photography, my only goal is to compete against my past self. To try to make better photos than I did a year ago.<\/p>\n

4. Ignore numbers<\/h2>\n
\"People
People in the Sun – Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I think numbers are bad for our ego. When we compare ourselves on social media, it is the worst. I look at my photos that get fewer likes than my friend, and I feel envious. I feel like I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m failing somehow.<\/p>\n

The strange irony \u00e2\u20ac\u201d even though I might get 3,000 likes on a photograph on Instagram, I am still envious of the guy who gets 10,000 likes. So it is like money \u00e2\u20ac\u201d no matter how much you have, it will never be enough.<\/p>\n

Now, I try not<\/em> to quantify my self-esteem through numbers. I no longer count the number of pull-ups or push-ups I can do. I still count the deadlift numbers, but it is more about knowing how much weight to add, to increase the difficulty.<\/p>\n

I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t count the 0\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in my bank account. I only check my finances once a month. I intentionally have setup my social media so I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t look at my likes on my photos and the views on my videos. I know that whenever I look at the numbers, I feel a bit disappointed. And I lose my enthusiasm.<\/p>\n

I think numbers are bad, and I no longer believe in this \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcquantified self\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 movement. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think human beings should quantify our self-worth through numbers. We shouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t count our self-esteem through how many 0\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s we have in our bank account, how many likes, followers, comments, or toys we own.<\/p>\n

5. Think of all the people who would envy to be in my spot<\/h2>\n
\"Nighthawks_by_Edward_Hopper_1942\"
Nighthawks by Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Rather than looking forward in life, I start to look backwards.<\/p>\n

It is easy to look forward, and see all those other people who are ahead of you. But rarely do we look backwards, and look at all those others that we are in front of.<\/p>\n

No matter what, we will always have people who would envy to be in our spot. Even if we are poor in America, we are still more wealthy than 99% of the world\u00e2\u20ac\u201d think India, Africa, and much of Southeast Asia.<\/p>\n

6. Just do me<\/h2>\n
\"Edward
Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I used to be nosy what others were up to. Now I really don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care. I care about how my close friends, family, and loved ones are doing. But 99.9% of the rest of the world, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really care.<\/p>\n

I think it is important to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153do you\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d which means, do what makes you happy. What uplifts your soul. Do creative work which is meaningful to you.<\/p>\n

7. We are all on the same basketball team<\/h2>\n
\"Edward
Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I used to feel envy for other photographers who were more successful than me. But now, I realize\u00e2\u20ac\u201d we are all brothers and sisters. And when my brother or sister succeeds, I am also succeeding.<\/p>\n

So why should I feel envy? I should feel happy. Because we are all on the same basketball team. If the point guard makes the three-pointer, and I am the center, I still gain 3 points. It is a team effort. Life isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a zero-sum game; we are all on the same team, all helping and supporting one another.<\/p>\n

So whenever I see someone get a book deal, have a fancy exhibition, get a bunch of followers, win some award, whatever\u00e2\u20ac\u201d I feel happy for them. Because what is good for them is good for me. And what is good for me, is good for them.<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/h2>\n
\"Carolina
Carolina Morning – Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I have still not wholly conquered envy. But I have conquered a lot of envy.<\/p>\n

Some practical tips:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Use \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcFlume\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 to upload photos to Instagram from your laptop<\/strong> (if you have a Mac, it is available in the App Store). It costs about $10, but by using it, I get less distracted by how many likes I get. And therefore less envious.<\/li>\n
  2. Unfollow everyone on social media<\/strong>: A bit self-centered, but by not following anyone else, I feel less envy.<\/li>\n
  3. Uninstall all social media apps from phone<\/strong>: I still keep in touch with close friends and family over Kakaotalk (the Korean version of WhatsApp), but as for all other social media apps (Facebook, Instagram, etc) are uninstalled from my phone. So I am less prone to checking my feeds, and getting envious of others.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Be creative today, and create the art you were designed to make.<\/p>\n

    Always,
    \nEric<\/p>\n

    \n

    How to conquer ><\/a><\/h2>\n
    \"Ground
    Ground Swell by Edward Hopper<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

    How to conquer:<\/p>\n