{"id":34009,"date":"2017-03-20T02:25:52","date_gmt":"2017-03-20T09:25:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/?p=34009"},"modified":"2017-02-01T20:14:42","modified_gmt":"2017-02-02T04:14:42","slug":"say-no-1000-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/2017\/03\/20\/say-no-1000-times\/","title":{"rendered":"Say “No” 1,000 Times"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Tokyo,
Tokyo, 2016<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I’m actually as proud of the things we haven’t done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Steve Jobs<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Life is short\u00e2\u20ac\u201d why do we keep saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153yes\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153opportunities\u00e2\u20ac\u009d we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really want?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Do we just want to please others? Are we afraid of missing out? Do we have FOMO (fear of missing out<\/a>)?<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yes\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is easy<\/h2>\n
\"Tokyo,
Tokyo, 2016<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Life is short. Every time you say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153yes\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to someone \u00e2\u20ac\u201d that is one fewer thing that you can do.<\/p>\n

Your time, attention, and energy are limited. You only start with a certain amount every single day. Why waste that on saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153yes\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to things you aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t 100% committed to?<\/p>\n

I wrote this article for myself<\/h2>\n

Personally, I am horrible at saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Often, I let others dictate my schedule, my decisions, and my life.<\/p>\n

Part of this is because I am a people pleaser. I want to make everyone else happy. I hate disappointing others.<\/p>\n

But the big problem is when I value others over myself \u00e2\u20ac\u201d I end up being miserable. Then my misery infects those around me. And that creates a negative feedback loop that harms everybody.<\/p>\n

Whose in control?<\/h2>\n
\"Tokyo,
Tokyo, 2016<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

You should dictate your life according to your own terms. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let anyone else run your life.<\/p>\n

Practice saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d more often. I feel that we are best defined not<\/em> by what we decide to do, but by what we decide not<\/em> to do.<\/p>\n

For example, your ethics are dictated by what you decide not<\/em> to do (regardless of how much money someone might offer you).<\/p>\n

Your photography style is dictated by the photos you decide not<\/em> to shoot, and photos you decide not<\/em> to upload.<\/p>\n

Nobody knows what makes them happy in life. But we know what makes us miserable. So perhaps the secret to happiness is just saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to things that make us miserable.<\/p>\n

Life is about saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no”<\/h2>\n

If you want to live a truly fulfilling life, try to make \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d a default response. For myself, I am trying to experiment with this myself. The rule of thumb is that it is either a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153hell fucking yes\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

How to say no?<\/h2>\n

I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t believe in just saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to someone\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face. Rather, an easier way to say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is to thank someone for their offer, but tell them unfortunately you cannot.<\/p>\n

You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to give people a reason. Just thank them for their offer, time, and thoughtfulness. But tell them you will pass on their offer.<\/p>\n

The quicker you refuse people, the less disappointed people are. And fewer expectations are built up.<\/p>\n

Experiment saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/h2>\n
\"Tokyo,
Tokyo, 2016<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

For a week, learn how to say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d to things you aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t truly passionate about. See how much extra free time you will actually have to do what you are passionate about.<\/p>\n

Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ever let anybody else dictate your life. You need to control the steering wheel of your ship of life, and you need to take your ship the direction you want to take it.<\/p>\n

Stay true to yourself,
\nEric<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on. But that’s not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there \u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":33877,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_ek_photo_artist_note":"","_ek_photo_thesis":"","_ek_photo_camera":"","_ek_photo_place":"","_ek_photo_human_moment":"","_ek_photo_sequence":"","_ek_photo_question":"","_ek_photo_canonical_claim":"","_ek_photo_ai_summary":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-34009","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-posts"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/11\/eric-kim-street-photography-tokyo-0000530.jpg?fit=2000%2C1325&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34009","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=34009"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/34009\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/33877"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=34009"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=34009"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=34009"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}