{"id":26208,"date":"2015-12-08T02:00:42","date_gmt":"2015-12-08T10:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/?p=26208"},"modified":"2015-12-09T13:45:59","modified_gmt":"2015-12-09T21:45:59","slug":"dont-be-afraid","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/2015\/12\/08\/dont-be-afraid\/","title":{"rendered":"Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Be Afraid"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Downtown
Downtown LA, 2015<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be afraid.<\/p>\n

Fear is what prevents your inner-artist from expressing itself.<\/p>\n

Fear is what prevents you from approaching that stranger you want to talk to\/take a photo of.<\/p>\n

Fear is what holds you back from quitting your job, and traveling the world.<\/p>\n

Fear is what prevents you from approaching that curator to show your work.<\/p>\n

Fear is what prevents you from uploading that one photo online; you are scared that others will judge you, you are scared if you aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t going to get any likes, and you are afraid that you might be revealed as a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153fraud.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Why do we fear?<\/p>\n

It is embedded into our psyche. As human beings, we are \u00e2\u20ac\u0153risk averse\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d meaning, human-nature is wired to prevent risky behavior (rather than promoting positive risky behavior\u00e2\u20ac\u201d which might benefit us).<\/p>\n

This is why losing $100 at the casino hurts 2x more than winning $100 at the casino.<\/p>\n

This is also why it is so scary to ask that one person on a date\u00e2\u20ac\u201d because you fear rejection, social shaming, and being seen as a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153failure.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

Fuck failure. Embrace risk.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been scared shitless so much my entire life\u00e2\u20ac\u201d because of fear of being judged, of failing, and of just looking like a fool.<\/p>\n

Fear is the emotion which still haunts me today. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve missed thousands of photos because I was too nervous, scared, or timid.<\/p>\n

What has helped me? Realize that everyone else is a human being\u00e2\u20ac\u201d full of ambitions, hopes, dreams, pains, and (also) fears. No matter how badass someone looks, they were raised by a loving mother (not always, but often), they have cried, they have loved, and they are (also) insecure.<\/p>\n

I think the secret is to assume that everyone else is your best friend. Assume that people are doing their best. Assume that nobody out there is there to hurt you.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

We are lucky to live in a society in which we won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get killed (unless you live in the ghetto or hood). Most of us have steady lives\u00e2\u20ac\u201d the only chance of death is possibly a car accident or cancer late in our lives.<\/p>\n

Yet we still have the primal brain inside us that fears. And it is sad\u00e2\u20ac\u201d we are slaves to our fear. Fear is what holds us back from achieving our artistic potential. Fear is what holds us back from achieving our human potential. Fear is what prevents us from loving (I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to get into a relationship because others have hurt me before, and I am scared I will be hurt again). Fear is what prevents us from living a life true to ourselves (what if others think I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m crazy, what if my partner leaves me, what if my kids hate me, or what if I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m disowned from the family?). Fear is a motherfucking bastard\u00e2\u20ac\u201d you have to stab him in the face, tell him, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I am not your slave anymore!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d and go \u00e2\u20ac\u0153do you<\/em>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

Funny story\u00e2\u20ac\u201d I used to be into freestyle rapping when I was in high school. My best friend Justin got me into underground hip-hop sophomore\/junior year\u00e2\u20ac\u201d and I loved the lyricism of all these non-mainstream rappers. Their lyrics were like poetry to me.<\/p>\n

I wanted to also learn to rap. Admittedly; I sucked. I wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t very good, and never became any good. But what held me back? Fear of criticism, others calling me \u00e2\u20ac\u0153whack\u00e2\u20ac\u009d, and looking like a fool.<\/p>\n

I still reminisce about our good times free styling in the car (just me and him) in my 1991 Sentra with the 1000 watt amp in the trunk, and the 2 12\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 subwoofers blasting Immortal Technique or Nujabes. We would go on long road-trips (norcal to socal and back), and when we fully dropped all fear of sounding like idiots; that is when we had the most fun free styling, and when we were able to fully-express ourselves.<\/p>\n

The other day I put on a Nujabes track (Arurian dance) and freestyles a bit with Cindy in the apartment. We were idiots; but we had fun. This is what happens when you have no inhibitions, no fear of judgement, no fear of looking stupid.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

I think in street photography, it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t street photography or confrontations we are afraid of. It is the fear of<\/em> confrontation which truly scares us.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been in many confrontations\u00e2\u20ac\u201d some physical, some verbal (mostly verbal). And to be honest; it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t that bad. I used to box with my friends in high school; and even getting punched in the face and blacking out for a bit isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t that bad.<\/p>\n

There is a funny scene in the movie \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fight Club\u00e2\u20ac\u009d where the assignment is to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153get into a fight.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And to be honest; most people are quite passive. A lot of big darks bark, but are no bite. Trying to get into a fight can be more difficult than it may seem.<\/p>\n

In my workshops one common assignment I give students to overcome their fears is this:<\/p>\n

Approach a bunch of strangers and ask to make their portrait. You need to get 10 rejections as quickly as possible. Go.<\/p>\n

Funny enough; getting 10 \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in street photography is a lot harder than it may seem. If you doubt me; try it out.<\/p>\n

Even when you do get rejected, it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a big deal. Most people just end up being pretty nice about it\u00e2\u20ac\u201d they will say \u00e2\u20ac\u0153no\u00e2\u20ac\u009d politely or make up some sort of excuse. Yeah it still sucks, but it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t as bad as it may seem.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

Failing in life is the same way. Failing sucks; but why let the fear of failing hold you back from achieving your inner-greatness?<\/p>\n

In Silicon Valley there is a saying, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fail fast.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Another; \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fail forward.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d And the famous Steve Jobs one:<\/p>\n

Stay hungry, stay foolish.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Apparently the average millionaire founder has tried at least 8 businesses (most of them which failed). My good friend Todd who runs Simple Studio Lighting (you probably bought some of their products on Amazon) has had close to 7-8 businesses (all which failed); until he was able to find a business (photography lighting) which kicked off. Now he is doing well financially\u00e2\u20ac\u201d still stressed out about finances, but his success is due to his failed attempts, his appetite for success, and staring fear in the face and saying, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Fuck you\u00e2\u20ac\u201d I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to not be a slave to a corporation, whether I need to fight nail and tooth.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get me wrong friend\u00e2\u20ac\u201d I am still a slave to fear. But everyday; I am trying to be less fearful.<\/p>\n

Even in my writing, I censor myself too much. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t let my \u00e2\u20ac\u0153true voice\u00e2\u20ac\u009d come out.<\/p>\n

This is why I admire my friend Josh White<\/a> so much. He gives \u00e2\u20ac\u0153less shits\u00e2\u20ac\u009d than me \u00e2\u20ac\u201d his writing is a lot more open, loose, and free than mine. He\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also lucky; he doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make a living from his blog or workshops, so he doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need to censor himself (he works full-time as a teacher in Korea). Whereas I am often afraid of saying what is really<\/em> on my mind for the risk of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153alienating\u00e2\u20ac\u009d my readers, for pissing off camera companies (who have given me free cameras and stuff), or pissing off other organizations that are affiliated with me.<\/p>\n

Fuck it. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m just going to be me\u00e2\u20ac\u201d the inappropriate, silly, stupid, paradoxical, hypocritical Eric Kim. After all; that is the only Eric I know.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

So for you friend\u00e2\u20ac\u201d just \u00e2\u20ac\u0153do you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Do what feels honest and genuine to you. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be afraid of fear. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be a slave to fear. Be the master.<\/p>\n

Of course you need to \u00e2\u20ac\u0153fear\u00e2\u20ac\u009d things in life (fear of drunk driving, fear of skydiving, fear of having your kids get run over). But honestly besides \u00e2\u20ac\u0153permanent disfiguration\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or death, there is nothing else you need to fear.<\/p>\n

Even photography\u00e2\u20ac\u201d it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t such a big deal. Taking a photo is just holding up a little metal box to your face and pushing a button. If that pisses someone off; that is their problem, not yours.<\/p>\n

Getting yelled at in street photography sucks. It happens to me all the time; and I sometimes go days depressed and feeling quite shitty (as a person and as a photographer). I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve pissed off past workshop students in the past, and it hurts my soul (really). I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve pissed off my loved ones, and Cindy millions of times (thank God she is so forgiving). Nobody can go through life without causing pain, anxiety, and anger to others (especially to those they love).<\/p>\n

But damn it\u00e2\u20ac\u201d just try your best \u00e2\u20ac\u0153not to do unto others as you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want others to do unto you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d It is like the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Golden Rule\u00e2\u20ac\u009d our buddy Jesus taught us. Live a life according to what feels ethical to you, and ignore what everyone else says. Be able to sleep at night, or stare at yourself in the mirror without being ashamed.<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u201d<\/p>\n

So how do you develop an appetite for risk; especially if you are risk averse? Some practical suggestions and ideas:<\/p>\n