{"id":24811,"date":"2015-09-08T09:16:55","date_gmt":"2015-09-08T16:16:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/?p=24811"},"modified":"2015-09-02T09:39:11","modified_gmt":"2015-09-02T16:39:11","slug":"8-life-lessons-i-learned-after-spending-3-months-on-the-road","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/2015\/09\/08\/8-life-lessons-i-learned-after-spending-3-months-on-the-road\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Life Lessons I Learned After Spending 3 Months on the Road"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"Cindy,
Cindy, the love of my life. Berlin, 2015<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Dear friend,<\/p>\n

I am excited to share that after nearly 3 months on the road, I am finally back at my beautiful home in Berkeley. I just wanted to use this opportunity to share some life lessons I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve learned during this trip, as long as some other meditations and ramblings:<\/p>\n

1. We are tiny<\/h2>\n

I was on the plane, around 30,000 fleet in the air, and about to land in SFO. I just had a long flight: I left my friend Brian Spark\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s home at 7am, after some good hugs and reflections on the trip, jumped on the subway, took the Arlanda express to the airport, waited in line to get my ticket printed, flew from Stockholm to Frankfurt (short 2 hour flight), then a longer-haul from Frankfurt to Montreal (8 hours), and then my final flight from Montreal to SFO (6 hours). I was able to watch \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Mad Max\u00e2\u20ac\u009d on the flight, finished re-reading \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Antifragile\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by Nassim Taleb, and also read a few chapters of \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Letters From a Stoic\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by Seneca. Great airplane reading.<\/p>\n

Anyways, when I was looking down from the plane\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s side window, I looked down. I saw tiny cars buzzing around on the freeways, I saw little tiny homes, and I had a little mini-epiphany: we are all so tiny, our problems are so insignificant, our time here on earth is short, yet we complain, bitch, and moan about the small and unimportant things in life.<\/p>\n

Now you might be thinking: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153But Eric, if you think that humanity is so small and insignificant, and everything we does doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really matter in the grand scheme of things, what is the purpose of going on in life, and contuing to work hard?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Well for me, this is what came to mind: we are on this earth for such a short period of time, so rather than complaining about the small problems that we hvae in life, why not use that mental energy to produce something positive and good in the world?<\/p>\n

For example, my aspiration is that after I die, hopefully some of the things I wrote in this blog, the classes that I taught, the people that I met, and the love that I showed will have touched a handful of people. Touching those few people would have made my life worth it. I used to, but no longer have any ambitions to become mega rich, to drive a BMW, to own 100\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s of Leica\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s, or to have a million followers on Instagram. It is hard for me to constantly remind myself this; but I need to live for others, not for myself, and I also need to fuck fame, fortune, and external recognition. I need to do what I believe my life\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s task (helping others), without a need for a pat on the back.<\/p>\n

2. Family is king<\/h2>\n

I also wanted to share you something that was probably my personal favorite part of the trip.<\/p>\n

This summer before we left to Europe, Cindy had a great idea: why not bring our mom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s along? After all, both of them have been hard-working single moms (more or less) for their entire lives, and have never had a true \u00e2\u20ac\u0153vacation.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d They were always working hard, hustling, and trying to pay the bills, and to put food on the table.<\/p>\n

So we surprised my mom and Cindy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mom by telling them that we were sending them on a trip to Paris (one week with us), a week on their own (in Italy, where they visited Rome, Cinque Terre, and Venice), as well as about 4 days together in Lisbon (cheap Ryanair flights made the decision for us).<\/p>\n

Anyways, it cost us a lot of money to do the trip for them. I think all-in-all, we probably invested $4,000 in their trip.<\/p>\n

Sure I could have used that money to buy a Leica lens, a maxed-out Macbook pro (with a shiny screen), some drugs (just kidding, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t take drugs), or some other crazy materialistic shit for myself.<\/p>\n

But one thing I learned in life so far: invest in experiences, not material things.<\/strong><\/p>\n

I have no idea when my mom is going to die, neither when Cindy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mom is going to die. But I knew that before investing in their trip, it would be a memory and an experience all of us (Cindy, me, my mom, Cindy\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mom) would remember for the rest of our lives. I imagined with my mom on her deathbed and being able to look back at all the happy memories in our life, especially this epic Europe trip.<\/p>\n

And a great investment this ended up becoming.<\/p>\n

Paris was fucking awesome. Imagine this: in our Airbnb in Paris (Place D\u00e2\u20ac\u2122Italie), Cindy and I would wake up in the morning (late, around 10\u00e2\u20ac\u201c11am), to the smell of amazing cooking. Both of our moms went to the farmer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s market in the morning, and bought fresh fish, veggies, and fruit\u00e2\u20ac\u201c and the smell of their amazing cooking woke us up. Cindy and I would then drag ourselves out of bed, make some coffee (thank God, the Airbnb had a Nespresso machine and we were able to pick up some cheap pods at Monoprix), and then do some writing or answer emails. We would then all have a fucking phenomenal breakfast together, have a nice chat, then explore Paris like flaneurs (no explicit plan in mind, but just exploring the city without any stress or anxiety). We would see amazing sights, sit down in a nice cafe for a lovely espresso, and just spend time together as a family. Nothing super-fancy or special\u00e2\u20ac\u201c the most valuable thing was the common experiences we were able to share.<\/p>\n

One thing that also brought me a ton of joy: seeing how much my mom enjoyed taking photos. I got a free LG G4 smartphone (for doing a YouTube review for it), and damn\u00e2\u20ac\u201c the camera on the thing is pretty fucking amazing (sorry for cursing a lot, it is 5:40am, and I am still a bit jetlagged). No but seriously, it can even shoot RAW (never used it, but the image quality is much better than a Samsung S6 and iPhone 6). Anyways, the entire trip she shot nearly 20,000 photos (thank God for Google photos automatic unlimited backup), and seeing her take photos was a reminder to me; how beautiful the art of taking images is.<\/p>\n

My mom was like a child: she saw everything in Paris like from the view of a kid. She was amazed by everything, and literally took photos of everything. Her enthusiasm was infectious.<\/p>\n

I am such a ungrateful bastard by comparison; I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve been to Paris a few times before, and now I feel a bit \u00e2\u20ac\u0153jaded\u00e2\u20ac\u009d by the exoticness out of all of it. I remember the first time when I went to Paris as a backpacking student in college (age 20) and was so amazed by everything. Now because I travel so much, I have dulled my appreciation and novelty faculties\u00e2\u20ac\u201c meaning, nothing exotic really excites me much anymore.<\/p>\n

But seeing my mom\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s enthusiasm for photography rekindled that \u00e2\u20ac\u0153beginner\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mind\u00e2\u20ac\u009d in me. It made me realize that for a beginner, everything is new, everything is possible, and everything is exciting. Just like how a child will find a few sticks and rocks infinitely fascinating, this has taught me a lesson: appreciate life around you like it was the first time you experienced it<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

So friend, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if you have a mom, dad, uncle, aunt, child, or friend who is interested in photography but doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a camera (or the means to afford one). If so, help enable them with the gift of photography\u00e2\u20ac\u201c give them (or buy them) a nice camera that will make it possible for them.<\/p>\n

3. Re-discovering gratitude<\/h2>\n

Another thing that I have learned through my trip is this: happiness is about gratitude, not about having physical stuff, or doing interesting things<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

What do I mean by that?<\/p>\n

Well, you can own a BMW M3, wear a Rolex watch, own two Leica\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s (one Monochrom and one M240), have a fancy house, lots of 0\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s in your bank account, a beautiful wife and kids, etc\u00e2\u20ac\u201c but still be unhappy.<\/p>\n

Why not?<\/p>\n

You might compare yourself to your neighbor who is a lot richer, more good-looking, more \u00e2\u20ac\u0153successful\u00e2\u20ac\u009d than you\u00e2\u20ac\u201c and feel jealous, and ungrateful.<\/p>\n

But no matter how rich or poor you are, as long as you are grateful for what you have, you will be happy.<\/p>\n

I have rediscovered gratittude from Epicurus, who is an ancient philosopher who taught me that you could be happy, regardless of your external constraints. For example, you can be a street-cleaner making minimum wage, but still be grateful for your vision, your loving friends and family, and the fact that you have a job that keeps you out of the streets. That street-cleaner can actually be happier (by being more grateful) than a CEO who earns millions of dollars (but is hungry for more, and isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t grateful).<\/p>\n

I am so fucking grateful for all the amazing friends I have in my life, for my health, and all the loving individuals I have met through my travels.<\/p>\n

People ask me what is the best thing about traveling around the world, teaching workshops, and shooting street photography. To be honest, it isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t the exotic sights that I see, the fancy restaurants I go to, the touristy landmarks, nor is it the photos that I take. It is always the people that I meet, and the relationships that I make which matter most<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

For example, people also ask me, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Eric, aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you so bored of doing all these workshops? The content must be the same, and you must be able to teach them blindfolded. Aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t you going to be bored of doing workshops sooner or later? Will you really do these for the rest of your life?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Well first of all, each workshops is never the same, as the people are always different. And every workshop, I try to do something a little different\u00e2\u20ac\u201c to push myself and challenge myself (and the students).<\/p>\n

And once again, the greatest blessing of teaching workshops isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t so much that I am \u00e2\u20ac\u0153teaching\u00e2\u20ac\u009d anything anybody. In-fact, I see myself more of an \u00e2\u20ac\u0153enabler\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c I try to enable the students to break outside of their comfort zone, but ultimately it is they who do it, not me.<\/p>\n

Not only that, but I believe in the mantra: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When one teaches, two learn<\/em>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d I learn as much from the students (if not more) than the students learn from me. The students also learn from one another, which is the benefit of pairing up students in workshops.<\/p>\n

I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve learned so much from the students in so many different ways. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve learned about difficult cultures, politics, social interactions, how to raise a family, how to have kids, how to treat others with kindness and respect, and how to not give a flying fuck of how others think of you.<\/p>\n

Some interview questions that I learned from Tim Ferriss (from his Podcast) were these:<\/p>\n

a) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve gotten older, what has become more important for you in life, and what has become less important?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

b) \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What are the common mistakes people make in \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcActivity X\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 (child-rearing, buying a home, traveling, interior design, investing in the stock market, etc)?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Another question I ask a lot of my students (and people I meet in my travels is this one):<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What are your passions and what makes you happy in life<\/em>?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Followed up with the question:<\/p>\n

\u00e2\u20ac\u0153What makes you unhappy in life<\/em>?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I have a problem is that I engage too much in \u00e2\u20ac\u0153small talk\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201c now I have been trying to avoid that by going straight into deep questions, and the meat of things.<\/p>\n

For example, I try to avoid saying (at all possible costs) the question: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What do you do for a living\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What is your job?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Why? When you ask people what they do for a living or what their job is, what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re really asking them is: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153How much money do you earn, what is your social status in society, and are you a higher rank than me or a lower rank than me?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

I once met a guy who was a passionate street photographer (and very talented), and found out afterwards that he was a janitor for a living. He had no loss of pride in saying it, but it made me feel shallow and quite shitty.<\/p>\n

Some people have \u00e2\u20ac\u0153day jobs\u00e2\u20ac\u009d just to pay the bills\u00e2\u20ac\u201c but rarely is it their passion. So asking people \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What do you do for a living?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d is kind of a bullshit question. Why not directly go into the meat of things, and ask them what their passion is\u00e2\u20ac\u201c what really turns them on in life? Then you get much deeper and meaningful questions.<\/p>\n

I also then ask \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What makes you unhappy in life?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d because I believe the secret of happiness is subtracting what makes you unhappy in life, rather than what makes you happy. Another lesson learned from Nassim Taleb: the avoidance of unhappiness is more effective than the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153pursuit of happiness<\/strong>.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n

Things that I have realized made me miserable, that I have tried to cut out of my life include the following:<\/p>\n