![\"epictetus\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/erickimphotography.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/epictetus.jpg?resize=1180%2C588\")
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Out of all the Stoic philosophers in history, Epictetus was certainly one of the brightest ones \u00e2\u20ac\u201d as well as the ones that walked the walk (in addition to talking the talk).<\/p>\n
Epictetus was known to have a lame leg, lived with bare-bone necessities, and was very down to earth. He is not as known as the more famous Stoic philosophers (Seneca and Marcus Aurelius) but one who I keep re-reading over and over again.<\/p>\n
Below are some lessons I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve learned from him, applied to my life, and lessons I hope will resonate with you:<\/p>\n
We all want to be wealthy, become rich, and perhaps hit the lottery to do so.<\/p>\n
But in reality, wealth has its hidden poisons. More money, more problems.<\/p>\n
If you won the lottery, imagine all of your fake friends and relatives who would come out of the woodwork\u00e2\u20ac\u201d asking for a share in your fortune. Apparently for almost all those who win the lottery \u00e2\u20ac\u201dit ruins their lives. They wish it never happened to them. It is the worst thing that can happen to you \u00e2\u20ac\u201d only something you should wish upon your enemies.<\/p>\n
Epictetus describes the issue below:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When you see a viper or an asp or a scorpion in an ivory or golden box, you do not on account of the costliness of the material love it or think it happy, but because the nature of it is pernicious, you turn away from it and loath it; so when you shall see vice dwelling in wealth and in the swollen fullness of fortune, be not struck by the splendor of the material, but despise the false character of the morals.”\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
I know the translation is pretty bad \u00e2\u20ac\u201d but pretty much Epictetus says this:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When you see a viper, wasp, or scorpion on top of a golden box\u00e2\u20ac\u201d you would turn away from it and hate it. Similarly, when you see vices dwelling in wealth and fortune, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be fooled by the shininess and splendor of it.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
With additional money, wealth, and fortune comes additional problems. It is true that money in itself isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t an evil. But know that for many people, unnecessary wealth adds unnecessary problems and complications to our life.<\/p>\n
The solution is to appreciate the things we have. And not only that, but if we are living in abject poverty \u00e2\u20ac\u201d to hustle hard to pull ourselves out of poverty. But once we have a respectable income \u00e2\u20ac\u201d why do we need more?<\/p>\n
2. How to be content<\/h2>\n
Stoic philosophers have been talking about this for millennia\u00e2\u20ac\u201d how does a human being find contentment and happiness?<\/p>\n
Unfortunately by our human nature, we are never satisfied or content. However we can re-wire our brains to find contentment in life\u00e2\u20ac\u201d by appreciating what we have.<\/p>\n
Here are some insightful quotes from Epictetus:<\/p>\n
When a man asked Epictetus what kind of man is rich, Epictetus answered: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He who is content.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Another golden gem from Epictetus:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Contentment, as it is a short road and pleasant, has great delight and little trouble.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
No matter how much we have, we will always want more. So rather than wishing for what we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have \u00e2\u20ac\u201d we should rejoice for what we have (already):<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153He is a wise man who does not grove for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
It is pretty refreshing to hear that even people from over 2,000 years ago dealt with issues about contentment, desire, and wealth.<\/p>\n
For me, it makes me feel a little less guilty for wanting what I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have (instead of rejoicing for what I already have).<\/p>\n
It is hard to appreciate what we have\u00e2\u20ac\u201d because we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re always comparing ourselves to others. For me, the solution has been to ignore everyone else.<\/p>\n
For example, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t compare yourself to someone who earns more money than you, to people who have higher positions to you. They probably work a lot more than us, have to sell their ethics, and have to deal with all these stresses in life (just for a little more money, power, and prestige). Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t envy them \u00e2\u20ac\u201d rather, pity them.<\/p>\n
3. Always expect the worst<\/h2>\n
What causes anxiety? Because we fear the future. We imagine catastrophic things happening to us. And we are afraid because we think we are powerless.<\/p>\n
How do we take away the fangs of fortune? How do we bravely move forward in life, without fear?<\/p>\n
A practical tip from Epictetus: vividly imagine that the worst-case scenario has already happened. If so, how bad will it really be?<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If you wish to live a life free from sorrow, think of what is going to happen as if it had already happened.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
The fear of something bad happening is often worse than the bad happening itself.<\/p>\n
For example, if you fuck up at work, and you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re afraid for your boss getting angry at you \u00e2\u20ac\u201d imagine the worst-case scenario. You get fired.<\/p>\n
If you got fired from your job, how bad would it really be? Would it even be a blessing in disguise? What is the worst-case scenario \u00e2\u20ac\u201d you become homeless and on the streets?<\/p>\n
Adjust yourself to the worst-case scenario, and you will discover it really isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t that bad.<\/p>\n
4. Listen twice as much as we speak<\/h2>\n
There is no voice sweeter than our own voice. Trust me, I love talking about myself. I have a huge ego.<\/p>\n
Yet one of the biggest lessons I learned from Epictetus is the importance of listening (over talking). He points out a good point about humans having one tongue, but two ears:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m guilty of talking twice as much as I listen. I make this mistake all the time when I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m with friends, my students, or with Cindy.<\/p>\n
Nowadays, I always try to hold my tongue. I ask more questions than talk. I try to deflate my ego.<\/p>\n
By listening twice as much as I talk, not only do I avoid taking over a conversation \u00e2\u20ac\u201d but I learn more from others. After all, I already know everything I know. My best teachers are others \u00e2\u20ac\u201d not myself.<\/p>\n
But perhaps you have the issue of hearing too much, and not speaking enough.<\/p>\n
A good ratio \u00e2\u20ac\u201d we should listen enough, but also talk enough. Listening to talking should be a 2:1 ratio.<\/p>\n
5. On decision making<\/h2>\n
The problem with today\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s world is that we are hyper-connected with communication. We over-communicate via text messages, emails, and the phone.<\/p>\n
We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re always told to do things quickly and efficiently. Yet when it comes to important decisions, slow down. We need to deliberate a lot before we say or do anything (important) \u00e2\u20ac\u201d because we cannot recall our actions or words:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Deliberate much before saying or doing anything, for you will not have the power of recalling what has been said or done.” – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
Slow down. When people ask you to do something for them, delay. Pause \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and wait a day or two before responding.<\/p>\n
Sure, some individuals might be impatient \u00e2\u20ac\u201d but by deliberating more before making an irreversible decision, you will be a lot more effective (and happy) in life.<\/p>\n
6. Follow your duty<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As the sun does not wait for prayers and incantations to be induced to rise, but immediately shines and is saluted by all: so do you also not wait for clippings of hands, and shouts and praise to be induced to do good, but be a doer of good voluntarily, and you will be beloved as much as the sun.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Do we need praise before we do our duty? Does the sun need applause to rise in the sky everyday?<\/p>\n
Treat your duty in life the same. You do your duty for the sake of helping others. You want to always make yourself useful for your fellow citizens:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As the fire-lights in harbors by a few pieces of dry wood raises a great flame and give sufficient help to ships which are wandering on the sea; so also an illustrious man in a state which is tempest-tossed, while he is himself satisfied with a few things does great services to his citizens.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lady fortune gives us all a different role in life. Epictetus says the secret of happiness isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t to complain about what duty we have in life. Rather, to embrace our duty \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and make the best out of what we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re given:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Remember that thou art an actor in a play of such a kind as the teacher (author) may choose; if short, of a short one; if long, of a long one: if he wishes you to act the part of a poor man, see that you act the part naturally; if the part of a lame man, of a magistrate, of a private person (do the same). For this is your duty, to act well the part that is given to you; but to select the part, belongs to another.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
What is your duty in life? It is different for everyone. Some of our duties include taking care of our families, our friends, our society, by being a lawyer, a doctor, a scientist, a businessperson, a teacher, or artist.<\/p>\n
Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t seek approval from others to follow your duty. Think of yourself like the sun \u00e2\u20ac\u201d regardless of the day, you will always rise to shine your rays upon humanity.<\/p>\n
7. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t anchor yourself to just one hope<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor, nor should life rest on a single hope.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to put all your eggs in one basket. Or better yet \u00e2\u20ac\u201d you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to secure your ship on just one anchor.<\/p>\n
The problem that many of us make is that we put all of our hope in one dream. And when we fail at that one dream, we lose all zest for living and life.<\/p>\n
Solution:<\/h3>\n
Give yourself more options. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t put all of your life\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s energies on a single hope. Have many different dreams in life. This way you will have more opportunities to achieve your best.<\/p>\n
So instead of thinking to yourself: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What is my dream in life?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d think to yourself: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153What are several<\/em> of my dreams in life?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Pursue many different dreams. Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t limit yourself to just one.<\/p>\n
8. Disregard haters<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As a goose is not frightened by cackling nor a sheep by bleating, so let not the clamor of a senseless multitude alarm you.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
The next time someone insults you, hates on you, or criticizes you \u00e2\u20ac\u201d just imagine them like the sound of sheep. Would the sound of sheep bother you if you were a goose? No.<\/p>\n
If you were a horse, would you be annoyed by the barking of dogs? No \u00e2\u20ac\u201d you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re greater than that.<\/p>\n
Solution:<\/h3>\n
A good way to deal with negative criticism \u00e2\u20ac\u201d make fun of yourself (self-deprecating humor).<\/p>\n
For example, if someone makes fun of you \u00e2\u20ac\u201d do as Epictetus says:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153If anyone tells you that such a person speaks ill of you, don’t make excuses about what is said of you, but answer: \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcHe does not know my other faults, else he would not have mentioned only these.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
So the next time someone makes fun of you, you can respond by saying: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153That is all they said? They certainly don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know more of my faults.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re the first to make fun of yourself, nobody\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s insults will sting you.<\/p>\n
9. Hustle when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re starting off<\/h2>\n
There is a nice story that Epictetus tells us\u00e2\u20ac\u201d regarding business, wealth, and being an entrepreneur:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Lampis the shipowner being asked how he acquired his wealth, answered, With no difficulty, my great wealth; but my small wealth (my first gains), with much labor.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
When we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re starting off in our business, our company life, or any other entrepreneurial pursuit\u00e2\u20ac\u201d it is very hard. Know that when you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re starting off, there are no shortcuts. But it gets easier as time goes on.<\/p>\n
For example, when I started blogging, teaching, and traveling \u00e2\u20ac\u201d it was damn hard to build up an audience. I had to hustle hard, close to 12 hours a day. Yet as time goes on, it is becoming easier \u00e2\u20ac\u201d because I put in the hard work early on in my career.<\/p>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
Hustle hard early in your career. Your gains will continue to accrue well into the future.<\/p>\n
10. Friends above wealth<\/h2>\n
What is true wealth and happiness? Relationships and friends:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Instead of a herd of oxen [wealth], endeavor to assemble herds of friends in your house.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
If we had all the wealth in the world, but no friends to share it with \u00e2\u20ac\u201d would we desire the wealth? Or the friends?<\/p>\n
11. Live a frugal lifestyle<\/h2>\n
Nowadays we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re told to live frugally, minimally, and economically to be happy. Yeah yeah, we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve all heard it before. But why is this a good strategy?<\/p>\n
Epictetus tells us this \u00e2\u20ac\u201d when we have big expenses in our lives (spending a lot of money on rent or a mortgage, an expensive car payment, etc) \u00e2\u20ac\u201d we are constantly disturbed and feel anxiety. Because we feel stressed. We have huge payments to make each month\u00e2\u20ac\u201d which makes us slaves to our jobs, our incomes, and our lifestyles.<\/p>\n
What Epictetus tell us instead is this \u00e2\u20ac\u201d live a life with fewer cares, fewer cares, and fewer expenses:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153As you would not choose to sail in a large and decorated and gold-laden ship (or ship ornamented with gold), and to be drowned; so do not choose to dwell in a large and costly home and to be disturbed (by cares).\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
For me, happiness is having fewer expenses, and more time and freedom. Never trade your freedom for anything. And to the best of your ability, keep your lifestyle simple and humble. Then you will have more time for your friends, family, creative work \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and less stress.<\/p>\n
12. Always think about death<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Let death and exile and every other thing which appears dreadful be daily before your eyes; but most of all death: and you will never think of anything mean nor will you desire anything extravagantly.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
If you always think about death \u00e2\u20ac\u201d would you waste 10 years of your life working hard, to earn a lot of money, to buy a big house, and a shiny BMW?<\/p>\n
No. If we think that we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to die soon \u00e2\u20ac\u201d we would never waste our time on superfluous wealth that won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t really help us. Rather, we would focus our time doing our creative work, creating art, and spending time with our loved ones.<\/p>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
Memento mori. Remember you must die, and you will die (soon). What would you not<\/em> get distracted by if you realized you would die soon?<\/p>\n
13. Love fate<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Seek not the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
In the West, we try to control our fate. Yet Epictetus tells us that tranquility in life is being flexible. By following our fate\u00e2\u20ac\u201d and making the best out of what is given to us.<\/p>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
The next time something really shitty happens to you in life, rather than becoming upset and blaming God\u00e2\u20ac\u201d tell yourself: \u00e2\u20ac\u0153I wanted this to happen. It has helped me.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t try to control your fate. Embrace it \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and make the best out of what life has given you.<\/p>\n
14. Ignore what isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t in your power<\/h2>\n
\n “Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions.” – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
There are things we have control over in life, and things we don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have control over.<\/p>\n
Things that we can control: our opinion of ourselves, what we decide to pursue, what we decide to avoid, and whatever action we have complete autonomy and freedom over.<\/p>\n
Things we cannot control: if we are healthy or not, how much money we own, how many houses we own, our reputation, the things that other people say about us, government, and politics.<\/p>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
Only focus on what you can control. Ignore what you cannot control. This way you will have complete freedom, less stress, and more ability to make the best out of your life.<\/p>\n
15. Always benefit, regardless of what happens<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Whatsoever happens, it belongs to me to derive advantage therefrom.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
No matter how bad something happens to you \u00e2\u20ac\u201d you can always be clever enough to think about what kind of benefit you can derive from it.<\/p>\n
For example, let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s say your friend dies. The advantage: you had a wonderful friendship, and you can spend more time with your (alive) friends \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and show them more appreciation.<\/p>\n
Let\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s say you lose your job. The advantage: you no longer have to work that job that you hate, with that crappy boss. You have the chance to start a new career.<\/p>\n
You become sick. You learn to not take life for advantage\u00e2\u20ac\u201d and perhaps pursue what you are truly passionate about in life.<\/p>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.<\/p>\n
16. Nobody else can hurt you<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Another cannot hurt you unless you allow them.” – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
We\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve all heard this \u00e2\u20ac\u201d sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me. As trite as it may sound, it is true.<\/p>\n
Think about it \u00e2\u20ac\u201d where does pain and suffering come from? Your mind. Your opinion of what others say and do to you.<\/p>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
If you retrain yourself to not feel harm from others\u00e2\u20ac\u201d nobody can harm you.<\/p>\n
Imagine yourself like a giant, and others as tiny ants. When others try to harm you, their stings or attacks will barely even affect you.<\/p>\n
Or image yourself like a knight in shining golden armor. When people try to attack you, they throw sticks at you. Nobody can pierce your armor\u00e2\u20ac\u201d you are far too powerful.<\/p>\n
17. Measure things by their function, not form<\/h2>\n
Epictetus tells us a good example about things \u00e2\u20ac\u201d get things for the function, not the form.<\/p>\n
For example, when it comes to shoes\u00e2\u20ac\u201d we need them to protect our feet. We don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t need our shoes to be gilded, purple, or studded with jewels. Because if we only care about appearance and form, there is never a limit:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153[In the] case of a shoe, if you go beyond its fitness to the foot, it comes first to be gilded, then purple, and then studded with jewels. For to that which once exceeds the fit measure there is no bound.” – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
You need a car. But do you need a car with shiny red paint, fancy wheels, leather seats, and a sporty look?<\/p>\n
You need a camera. But do you need shiny accessories, paint, and for it to look cool?<\/p>\n
You need clothes to keep you warm. But do you need designer clothes, jewels, studs, or any other extraneous ornaments?<\/p>\n
Measure things by their function, not form.<\/p>\n
18. Expect to be rejected<\/h2>\n
If you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re an entrepreneur, expect to be rejected. Imagine the door to be shut in your face. If you expect rejection before it happens, it won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hurt you:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When you are going to any of the people in power, represent to yourself that you will not find him at home; that you will not be admitted; that the doors will not be opened to you; that he will take no notice of you. If, with all this, it is your duty to go, bear what happens, and never say [to yourself], \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcIt was not worth so much<\/em>.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
No matter how rich, successful, or hard-working we are \u00e2\u20ac\u201d there will be someone who rejects us.<\/p>\n
This is because we cannot control whether others accept or reject us. We can work hard to make a good impression \u00e2\u20ac\u201d but ultimately, the decision of acceptance or rejection lies outside<\/em> of your own power.<\/p>\n
Expect to get rejected in business, by a romantic partner, by your kids, or by other artists.<\/p>\n
But that doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t mean not to try. Try your best, but expect the worst. And keep hustling and \u00e2\u20ac\u0153failing forward.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
19. Others are following their ethics<\/h2>\n
It is easy to be frustrated by others who try to harm you, who criticize you, and say ill about you.<\/p>\n
But don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t forget\u00e2\u20ac\u201d everyone else is just saying what feels true to them.<\/p>\n
For example, who is \u00e2\u20ac\u0153right\u00e2\u20ac\u009d? Conservatives or Liberals? Republicans or Democrats? Western ideals or Eastern ideals?<\/p>\n
Each side thinks that they are \u00e2\u20ac\u0153right\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and the others are idiots (or wrong).<\/p>\n
Epictetus reminds us \u00e2\u20ac\u201d not to be upset by others. After all, everyone is just following their duty:<\/p>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153When any person harms you, or speaks badly of you, remember that he acts or speaks from a supposition of its being his duty. Now, it is not possible that he should follow what appears right to you, but what appears so to himself. Therefore, if he judges from a wrong appearance, he is the person hurt, since he too is the person deceived. For if anyone should suppose a true proposition to be false, the proposition is not hurt, but he who is deceived about it. Setting out, then, from these principles, you will meekly bear a person who reviles you, for you will say upon every occasion, \u00e2\u20ac\u02dcIt seemed so to him<\/em>.\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think about life in dualistic terms. Meaning, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t think of things as \u00e2\u20ac\u0153right\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\/\u00e2\u20ac\u0153wrong\u00e2\u20ac\u009d or \u00e2\u20ac\u0153good\u00e2\u20ac\u009d\/\u00e2\u20ac\u0153bad\u00e2\u20ac\u009d. For every \u00e2\u20ac\u0153right\u00e2\u20ac\u009d there is also a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153wrong.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d For every \u00e2\u20ac\u0153good\u00e2\u20ac\u009d there is also a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153bad.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n
When others disagree with you or argue with you \u00e2\u20ac\u201d don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t label them as an idiot. Just realize they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re following what feels true to them. And how can you blame others for that? After all, you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re doing the same.<\/p>\n
20. Follow your own rules of conduct<\/h2>\n
\n \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Whatever moral rules you have deliberately proposed to yourself. abide by them as they were laws, and as if you would be guilty of impiety by violating any of them. Don’t regard what anyone says of you, for this, after all, is no concern of yours.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d – Epictetus\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
We can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t expect others to listen to us or follow our rules of conduct.<\/p>\n
The only thing we can do is follow our own ethical rules for ourself.<\/p>\n
We can set an example for others \u00e2\u20ac\u201d and hope others follow us. If not, that is fine too.<\/p>\n
Lesson:<\/h3>\n
Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t concern yourself with what others say about you. Just follow your own heart, and do what feels ethically right to you. And never do unto others and you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want others to do unto you.<\/p>\n
Conclusion<\/h2>\n
The biggest lessons I learned from Epictetus is to not worry so much about what is outside of my control. I can control how hard I work, my attitude, and my opinion of others and myself. I cannot control my reputation, others\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 opinions of myself, and I cannot control how others think.<\/p>\n
By letting go trying to control others, I feel more tranquility in my heart. Furthermore, to realize that others are not \u00e2\u20ac\u0153evil\u00e2\u20ac\u009d \u00e2\u20ac\u201d they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re just following their own hearts.<\/p>\n
Life is tough. So armor up. Put on your golden chain-mail, your impenetrable helmet, and gleaming shield. Know that you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to be attacked from everybody else. But you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to be too powerful to be pierced.<\/p>\n
Always be strong friend,
\nEric<\/p>\n