What if we didn’t always feel the need to put in our “2 cents”, or feel the need to share our opinion?

Why does our opinion matter?

First of all, we always think that our opinion is the most correct, and the most important.

Why is that?

Well first of all, we can only see the world from our own perspective. It is impossible to see the world in the eyes of others. However we (wrongly) assume that everyone thinks the way we do. And we also (wrongly) believe that everyone else “should” think the way that we do (because we know better than others).

I think part of this comes from a self-centeredness, that we know what is best for others. I also think that part of it comes from the fact that we want to help others, and we think we know what is best for others.

Trust me, I am a victim of this thinking. I try hard to see the world from other perspectives, but I will always be a prisoner to my own thinking. This is why I am generally more curious in others than myself, and prefer to ask questions than provide answers. Why? I already know all the thoughts in my head. What I don’t know is the thoughts in the minds of others.

I still think I am always right. After all, I am a self-centered human, who cannot think from the perspective of others. Everything I write about, think, and share is just my perspective. And it is only one of many perspectives out there. I just have the feeble hope that some of my perspectives can help uplift, encourage, and help others. But I also know that a lot of what I think and share will not apply to others.

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So going back to our original question, why even share our own opinion, if it will most likely not apply to others?

Well first of all, if you have a genuine feeling that your thoughts and opinions will help others — I encourage you to share your beliefs. If it comes from a place of good-will; you might be “wrong”, but I feel if the intent is good, you should share.

Also before sharing my opinion, I try to think to myself: “Is this opinion an idea that will actually help the other person, or only help me get my own point across?” If your opinion will not help someone else, I think it is best to keep our opinion to ourself. Otherwise we are just trying to force our own opinion down the throats of someone else. And that is not pleasant.

Imagine if you were wrong

Before sharing my own opinion, I’ve done this thought experiment to myself:

“What if my opinion was wrong, and the other person was right?”

This helps humble myself. It helps me open my mind to the opinion of others. This allows me to actually learn from others.

Furthermore, I think philosophically there are no ultimate “right” and “wrong’s” in life. Is a spider “wrong” for trapping a fly and eating it, to stay alive? Is a human “wrong” for extracting materials from the earth to survive and prosper? For every “right” there is an equal “wrong”.

I think the ultimate test of wisdom is being able to hold two contradictory thoughts in your mind at the same time. To see deeper into each situation. To realize that two people can both be “right” and “wrong” at the same time. Or to take it even further, nobody is “right” or “wrong” — they simply are.

Listen twice as much as you speak

I’m only speaking from my own experience, but I think we generally tend to over-share our own opinions. We close our ears to the opinions of others.

But there is a reason why God gave us one mouth and two ears. We should listen twice as much as we speak.

So for a week, assume that your opinion is wrong. Ask a lot of questions to others. To your loved ones, friends, family, and even strangers. And for a week, assume that they are right, and you are wrong. This will help humble yourself— and open your ideas to the perspectives of others.

And at the end of the week, go back to your normal way of thinking. Then try to integrate the opinions of others, with your own opinion. Then come up with your own opinion, while considering the opinions of others.

See if this will open up your thinking. And realize how less stressful it is to not argue with the opinions of others. You will have fewer conflicts with others, less stress, and more open-mindedness.

Always stay open to the opinions of others,
Eric

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