Start from age 90 (on deathbed; and live in reverse):

1. Imagine yourself on your deathbed

You’re 90 years and on your deathbed. You were lucky enough to dodge cancer, heart disease, and most diseases for the majority of your life. Your chest is heavy, it is hard to breathe, and you’re starting to black out.

How would you have wanted to remember your life?

2. How do you want to live your life?

What if someone told you how your life ended, and if you knew it— how would you live your life differently?

Or how about this: what if you knew exactly the date you would die and what age, how would you live your life differently?

What if the grim reaper told you that you were to die at age 90? At age 80? At age 70? At age 60? At age 50? At age 40? At age 30?

How would you live your life differently?

3. Live like Benjamin Button

I want to live my life in reverse.

To consider my death-bed, and how I want my death to be— and live my life accordingly.

For example, if I were on my deathbed, this is what I would want:

I would want to die at my own home. Fuck being in some sterile all-white hospital. I want to be surrounded by my loved ones, when I am lying on my own bed, surrounded by wood, green plants, and the smiling faces of my loved ones.

I don’t want nobody crying around me. I just want us telling stories— stories of good past memories, of wonderful conversations we’ve had, of wonderful travels and walks we’ve had, lovely simple home-cooked meals we had, and how we shared our life together beautifully.

I think when I’m on my deathbed, I don’t need millions of fans singing my praises. Rather, I would die happy knowing that I was able to touch the hearts of a few people— perhaps in a deep and profound way.

4. My funeral

For my funeral, I don’t want nobody crying. Just laughing, smiling, and dancing. I want everyone to have one big ass party — lots of cheering, the wine flowing freely, and having my funeral as a good opportunity for people to see each other again.

I want only people to share positive memories from the past— and for my legacy to be one of love, openness, and freedom. I want all the stuff I created in my short life to be open-access, free, and hopefully can empower some kid in the hood.

I don’t want no expensive funeral, being put into the dirt, with some heavy tombstone. I want to be burned, until my leathery flesh burns into ashes. I want my ashes to turn into atoms. I want my ashes to be scattered maybe onto some tree, or perhaps into the wind. I want even my molecules to somehow nourish the plants, trees, and the earth.

I see the body as some petty mortal thing. Yet, my soul and message of love will live on forever.

5. Never forget where you came from

Sometimes I forget where I came from. I remember as a kid, growing up poor, I would tell myself: “Once I become ‘successful’ in life — I’m going to contribute back to society.” I knew that I was privileged in life, getting so much help from my local community. It was my duty to go back, and help those also in need.

I often forget that. I get too into myself, too into building my own wealth, building the zeros and commas in my bank account, and buying all this stupid shit I don’t need. I have vain hopes and dreams — getting these dumb-ass expensive cars, to gain millions of followers, and little red hearts to keep me warm at night.

But Eric — never forget where you came from. Never forget all those mentors who helped guide you. Never forget the times that during school lunch, you would save that $5 your mom gave you, and instead of buying school lunch for a week, you went hungry, so you could perhaps save enough money that month to buy a new t-shirt to look cool. Never forget how much it sucked not having access to music— because how can you afford $20 on a CD? Thank God for Napster and Justin for giving you burned CD’s.

Never forget working as a busboy when you were 15 years old, hustling those 12 hour days for 2 months that one summer, and seeing how hard all the Mexican homies worked in the kitchen (they worked 16 hours a day, 7 days a week) just to feed their families.

Never forget your ambition as a kid. Think— how much more you could have accomplished in life, if you just had access to the right information, opportunities, or the right community center. Eric, now that you’re an adult— how can you help other 12-18 year old kids, with great ambition?

6. MEMENTO MORI

Memento Mori,
What will be your life story?
When you’re 90 years old and on your death bed,
Your eyes blood-shot, red, and your chest heavy like lead.

Silver grey hair slicked back,
leathery face
dark rings under your eyes
joints aching all over

When you die, you cannot take your blacked-out Lamborghini with you

When you die, you cannot take your zeros and commas with you.

When you die, you cannot take your social media followers with you.

When you’re (about) to die— you’re not going to care about what others think of you. You’re only going to care how you feel about your life, and the opinion of your few close friends, family, and loved ones.

Future generations might or might not remember you. Probably they won’t. But as long as you touch the heart of a few individuals during your lifetime — isn’t that enough for you?

7. Keep following the beat of your own drum

So Eric — stay focused on your life goal, like glue.
Keep hustling, rustling those leaves, and live a life in peace.

No hate; don’t be an ingrate
Be fucking fortunate to be alive
to jive and praise life
To always kiss your wife
in the morning and night

Always stay bright
keep up the good fight

Never forget where you came from,
and keep following the beat of your own drum.

Always,
Eric

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