Another thing I would like to give the middle-finger to: sexism.
1. Why does sexism exist?
Why is it that in society; women are looked down upon?
Throughout history, women are blamed for a lot of shit. For example, Judaism/Christianity look down on women (Eve) for taking the first bite of the forbidden fruit/apple, and tempting Adam.
We are taught from a young age that somehow men are superior to women. Why?
2. Bullshit arguments
This makes no sense.
Some people make the claim that men are morally superior to women, because they are bigger, more muscular, and can hunt animals.
But then again, the biggest Mafia dons are often the smallest, shortest, fattest, yet the most powerful.
And if you look in the animal kingdom — many female animals are bigger and stronger than the males.
Another thought is that men have more power, because we have more aggression via testosterone. And women have less rationality, because they have more estrogen and are more ‘emotional.’
Yet, I know many men who are a lot more irrational than women. I also feel that anger and irrationality affects women and men equally.
3. Avoid the media
Growing up, I listened to a lot of hip hop music. It seems like saying ‘bitch’ is the second most commonly used word in rap lyrics.
That fucked me up.
When there was a girl in middle school or high school that I thought was unpleasant, it was easy to label her as a ‘bitch.’ Even worse, girls would call each other ‘bitches.’
What is a ‘bitch’ anyways? A female dog. And often, female dogs are bigger, stronger, and more ferocious than male dogs.
4. My mom is my hero
The individual who has had the most influence in my life is first of all, my mom (from a young age). And now of course, that new person is Cindy.
I want to share you my life story if you don’t mind.
First of all, I grew up pretty poor. I was never starving, yet I remember being 12 years old, not sure whether my mom would be able to pay the rent the month, because my dad took the money and gambled it away.
I have a lot of love for my dad, but he did some pretty fucked up shit. He essentially mentally tortured my mom for close to two decades. I remember him cursing her all the time in Korean.
“Shangnyun-ah.” is one of the first phrases that come to mind. It essentially (at least to me) is a mix of calling someone a ‘fucking bitch.’ I heard it almost on the daily in my house.
My mom was my hero. She worked 6-7 days a week, 10-12 hours a day, doing menial labor jobs to just pay the rent. My dad didn’t have a full-time job since I was 2 years old. He essentially stayed home all day— watching movies, reading books, doing laundry and house-hold chores, shuttling me and my sister to school, and for the most part, just being a leech off my mom.
I remember something vivid when I was in high school — I asked my dad why he didn’t work. He said something along the lines of:
“Because your mom is a fucking bitch who deserves to suffer, and work for the rest of her life.”
5. I am a sexist
Seeing how much my mom suffered, and how hard she worked— I always respected her, and women. I tried my best to teach my sister how to be a strong individual, to not give a fuck what others thought about her, or said about her, or did. I actually always treated her like a little brother— I did wrestling moves on her when she was younger, and I remember my fondest memory — teaching her how to drink stick-shift. I remember how proud I was when she told me how she drove my stick-shift car in her high-heel stilettos. I never called my sister a bitch, nor said anything sexist to her.
In middle school and high school — I admit it, I said and did a lot of sexist shit. I said denigrating things about women, often to my women friends. It was all said ‘jokingly’ — but it was still ignorant of me.
I studied sociology in college, and all my friends were mostly women (sociology was about 80% women). I learned from strong mentors like my teacher Terri Anderson, and all my inspirational Sunday school teachers over the years (shout-out to Christina Kim).
6. My dream of gender and sexual equality
My dream is to live in a world where there is gender and sexual equality for all. Where men and women aren’t treated any differently. Where gay people, bi-sexual people, trans-gender people, etc — are seen on the same equal footing as ‘straight’ people.
I am especially inspired by Cindy — who ever since going to Berkeley has become empowered as a female individual. To speak her mind. To have confidence in herself, after being beaten down by Asian-Confucian values, which looks down on women.
7. How I try to fight sexism
I am still prejudiced, and sexist. I would like to think I am all gender equality — but I still have my deep-ridden beliefs. I blame society, the media, but mostly—myself.
Some things I’ve been trying to do to fight sexism in my own heart.
- Eliminate the word “bitch” from my vocabulary
- Not treating women any differently than men. And not treating men differently than women. And not treating gay, transgender, bi-sexual, etc people any differently.
- Encouraging Cindy to speak up against injustice, or calling bullshit when she smells it.
8. Be the change which you wish to see in the world
If you’re a man, just be aware how much shit women get.
If you’re a woman, try not to use the word “bitch” either.
In ancient times, Spartan women were treated equally as Spartan men. The Amazonian women were revered by the ancients, as being full of strength, valor, and courage.
And in today’s world, there are a lot more deadbeat fathers than deadbeat mothers. My mom effectively raised me and my sister as a single mom. Even though my dad was there physically — he wasn’t there emotionally, spiritually, or financially for our family. The best thing my mom did was to divorce my dad when I was around 16. She has been so happy ever since.
Let us fight the venom of Sexism everyday. By changing ourselves. By saying fewer sexist things, by treating others equally disregarding the color of their skin, their gender, or sexual orientation.
To give love of anybody. Regardless of their age, their country, religion, etc.
We are all brothers and sisters in this beautiful family of life. Would you call your mom a bitch? Why ever call another woman a bitch, or commit physical or verbal actions of hate?
WOMEN: TAKE IT TO 11
you’re my brother, and you’re my sister— why can’t we let it be?
Why do we say the word ‘bitch’ so freely?
Ladies, let nobody talk down on you
or frown upon you
Don’t be afraid
have courage in your heart
to speak your mind
to speak your thoughts
You’re equal to any man
and every man is equal to you
If you’re gay,
why are you afraid to say
that you are?
You might get attacked
verbally or physically
or be killed, literally.
But fuck sexism, and sexual inequality
We need to be like wolverine, and recover immediately
Let’s be strong like the women from the Amazon,
throwing spears with strength
their javelins carry on
Ladies and men,
you can do anything you set your mind to
Be an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist, or astronaut
Your ambition has no limits
impossible is nothing
nothing is impossible
Success is your only motherfucking option
just turn the knobs and
crank it to 11.
Soar on the crimson wings of strength to the heavens
the Archangel Michael will be your friend
speak down on yourself
Always believe in yourself.
Your wings won’t melt
if you soar too close to the sun.
Start the race now,
didn’t you just hear the sound of the gun?
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