Dear friend,

One thought that struck me recently: we all have an impulse to document and photograph things in our world. But what is this impulse exactly? Can we explain it psychologically? Is it something that all humans have? Or is it something that is unique– which differentiates us photographers from other people?

What makes a photographer, a photographer?

What makes a photographer, a photographer?

First of all, I think we are unique in the sense that we have an impulse that comes from deep within our souls to document the world around us.

A lot of people become photographers when they get their first camera, which empowers them to document the world around them.

Many others start taking photos when they get their first child– they want to document the joy of having a child by recording their own memories, and sharing their joy with others.

Some other people I know (myself included) were artistically inclined ever since they were young, yet they didn’t have an outlet for it. Essentially a lot of photographers are artists who can’t draw.

For me, I first picked up photography when my mom got me a digital point and shoot camera as a graduation gift from high school. With the camera, I suddenly felt empowered. I saw the world in a different way. With a camera in hand, suddenly everything became more interesting. Everything turned into a possible “photo opportunity”. I would use the camera to hunt out beautiful moments, shapes, and forms. The camera made me more curious, more adventurous, and more appreciative of the beauty all around me.

Where does my photographic impulse come from?

Part of the photographic impulse for me was a fear of forgetting. I’ve always had a terrible memory as a child (I was the kid who always forgot his umbrella somewhere, my mom also tells me that I’ve lost perhaps close to 20 thermos containers as a child) and it seems the camera is an aid to my memory.

I started to seriously take a lot of photos in between the summer graduation of high school and my freshman year of college. That summer I went to Korea, and stayed there for about two months. It was one of the most exciting adventures of my life: the first time I had an extended stay overseas, where I had many new experiences, created new friendships, and explored a (somewhat) foreign culture. Being a new place, everything also looked so different and unique– and I wanted to record all of these memories, so I would never forget.

Can the “photo taking impulse” be taught?

I think the mechanics of photography are easily “teachable”. For example, the concepts of exposure, aperture, shutter speed, and other technical settings can be understood by anybody. You can also teach people the fundamentals of composition, what elements make a good photo, and how to make more dynamic images.

However what cannot be taught is a “photography impulse”. I think you’re either born with it or not.

A “photography impulse” is a feeling when we something unique, interesting, or personally meaningful– and we must document and photograph it. It is a feeling that is unmistakeable. Often when the impulse is so strong, we will run across the street (and risk getting hit by a car), or when we fail to listen to our photographic impulse… it leads to extreme regret.

For me, the photographic impulse is strongest when I see people with interesting faces, when I have a wonderful and personally meaningful moment with a loved one, or when I have a fear of forgetting something.

I think nowadays there is too much of an emphasis on making good photos. What I feel instead is that we should focus more on listening to our inner-voice; the photographic impulse. To do everything in our power to remove barriers to taking photographs. To remove frictions that prevents us from listening to our inner voice and listening to our photographic impulse.

Don’t think too much

If you see a good “photo opportunity”– that is your inner voice or photographic impulse telling you, “This might me a good moment. Make a photograph just in case.”

In these situations, just take the photograph. Don’t overthink it, you can always decide to delete the photograph afterwards.

This is why I am such a huge fan of shooting in “P” (program mode) in photography. It removes the “friction” of having to worry about what technical settings to use on your camera. Also I’m a huge proponent of small compact cameras, or even smartphone cameras. Why? Because having a big and clunky camera is another barrier or friction in your life– who likes to always carry a huge and heavy camera with you? The smaller and more compact your camera, the more likely you are to carry it with you everywhere you go, the longer you will be able to walk around with it (without getting tired), which increases your chance of seeing a good photo moment and capturing it.

Many modern photographers are trying to optimize their cameras for image quality, sharpness, and resolution. My suggestion: try to optimize your camera for lightness, compactness, and portability. The more you reduce your photographic gear, the more you increase your chance of making personally meaningful photographs.

What is personally meaningful to you?

Following your photographic impulse also means not worrying about what others will think is an interesting photograph. It means to consider what you will think is a personally meaningful photograph.

If you made a photograph that you didn’t particularly care about, yet you still got a thousand likes on social media, would you be truly happy and satisfied? I doubt it. But on the other hand, if you made a photograph that personally satisfied you (yet you only got a few “likes” on social media– why do you care what others think?)

The main problem of social media is that it is a “validation playground” for images, ideas, and thoughts. We aren’t sure what we personally think of a photograph we make, so we share it on social media to see what other people might think of it. We have a fear that we might have a hidden gem, yet we don’t know about it. But once again– is the point of your photography to have other people like your photos, or for you to like your own photos?

Scratch that itch

I also feel that a photographic impulse feels like an itch. If we don’t scratch that itch; it will drive us crazy.

I’ve regretted not taking thousands of photographs. Often it is a fear of pissing someone off, a fear of physical violence from someone else, or a fear that the photograph I shoot is boring. All of these are baseless fears– almost never does taking a photograph lead to death (unless you shoot war or conflict photography), and even if a photograph you shoot is boring– who cares? We need to take a lot of boring photos to capture a few good photographs. Every time you click the shutter, it is like swinging a bat. The more you get to swing your bat, the more likely you are to hit a home run.

Don’t let yourself be frustrated

 

Whenever I go a few days without reading, writing, or taking photos– I feel frustrated. This starts to breed resentment for people in my life, because I feel like they are the ones who are holding me back from fulfilling myself creatively.

But know that you are always your own stumbling block.

I complain that I don’t have enough time to do my creative work– but often the fault is that I’m wasting too much time on the Internet or mindless blogs. If I’m able to prioritize my time more, and waste less time, that means more time, focus, and attention to do what is personally meaningful to me.

I also have found one of the best opportunities to have creative time is the mornings. I’m the type of person that I have a really hard time waking up early. But I’ve found the true issue is the opposite: I have a really hard time falling asleep early. So rather than trying to force myself to wake up early, I’ve been trying to force myself to sleep early. Which means not looking at any screens late at night (apparently the blue light from a smartphone or a laptop disrupts your body from producing melatonin, which helps you fall asleep). That also means not having coffee too late in the day (for me my personal rule is to try not to drink coffee after noon). It also means that I need to do some physically vigorous activity during the day (helps me fall asleep at night).

Nowadays I’ve been trying to get to bed at 9pm, which means I can wake up at 5:30am, so I have uninterrupted time to read, reflect, meditate on ideas, and write (like I’m doing now).

As with photography, I used to feel that I always needed to be in the streets– in some downtown urban area to make interesting photographs. What I realize now is it is all about making the most interesting photographs from your “boring” everyday life. For me right now (living in the suburbia of Orange County) is taking photos of Cindy at home, taking photos of “urban landscapes”, and random snapshots at the mall. It is all about making the best opportunities depending on what life gives you, rather than trying to live someone else’s life.

Also realize that if you don’t scratch your photographic impulse itch, not only will it ruin your life, it will negatively impact the lives of others around you.

This means, take care of your photographic and creative health. The more personally fulfilled you feel, the more you will positively affect the lives of others.

Which means, be a little greedy and selfish when it comes to your own personal needs. Like the ancient saying, “Don’t water the fields of your neighbors when your own fields are parched.” Take care of yourself, then take care of others.

Follow your gut

In the West, we have too much of an emphasis on “rationality” and what “makes sense”. Yet I feel as a human being, what we naturally do, impulsively– is not rational. Often following our gut is more “right” rather than trying to think things through. Our hidden subconscious has more intelligence than we normally give credence to.

That means when you’re out taking photos, trust your gut more than your brain. I treat photography as meditation. When you are out taking photos, simply take photos that interest you. Shut off your brain. Don’t let your “judging mind” take over. Follow your “stream of consciousness”.

I don’t me to not be rational at all. In fact, you can use your “rational” mind to edit and sequence your photos afterwards. I do believe there is a huge advantage of shooting from your gut, and editing (selecting your best photos) with your brain.

Follow your curiosity

One of the things I most admire in children is their curiosity. I feel that is also the trait I admire the most in photographers– their curiosity of the world, their inquisitiveness, and their grit and tenacity to be creative everyday.

The curious photographer is the one who will outlive all other photographers. The curious photographer is not satisfied with the status quo, and wants to always improve him or herself.

Everyday I try to get my mind to be as “childlike” as possible. I try to see the world everyday with a new, fresh, set of eyes. I try to also embrace “beginners mind” as much as possible. It is the only way to stay curious about the world around you, without becoming jaded or bored.

Isn’t it incredible how kids never seem to be bored? Because everything interests them– from a leaf on a tree, to how a jar opens and closes, and the speech of adults.

Yet something peculiar happens as they get older– their creativity and curiosity gets killed by standardized testing, by teachers who tell them to “shut up, and sit down”, and by society teaching them to value money, power, and prestige above their own passions.

The same happens in our photographic life. We start off being curious and enjoying “photography for photography sake”. Then we start to discover the world of cameras, lenses, sharpness, image quality, bokeh, and all these irrelevant buzz-words in photography. We’re also taught that we need to build a “social media presence” and get more followers, likes, and social media fame– rather than making photos that are personally meaningful. We become more dependent on the opinion of others, rather than than our own opinion of ourselves. We essentially become a creative slave of others– because we judge ourselves by a ruler of the opinion of others, rather than our own inner-scorecard.

Shoot for yourself

If nobody else existed in the world, would you still make photographs to fulfill your “photographic impulse”?

I think you should. Because even if nobody else would see your photos but yourself– who cares? As long as your photos bring you inner-peace, happiness, and contentment, isn’t that enough of a reason to make photographs?

I’m not telling you not to share any of your photos online, nor am I telling you not to engage in social media. What I am encouraging you is to first aim to fulfill yourself creatively, and share that joy with others. Only share photos that bring you joy; and don’t treat social media as a way to gain some sort of external affirmation. Because even if you have all the external affirmation in the world, what does it matter if you don’t have any internal affirmation for yourself?

Always stay true to your inner-voice, photograph what interests you, follow your gut, and remember– the point of photography is to live a joyful and fulfilling life, not to make good photographs.

Always,
Eric

Thursday, May 26, 2016, feeling calm and meditative after 2 cups of Vietnamese coffee.